Chapter 43

 He was a part of him and simultaneously a part of her. Isn’t that why a child created together is so lovable? So, so, how could he not be lovable? Eselmund strongly resembled Larque, but even if he didn’t particularly resemble Larque, Ella would have loved him.

 Her skin stung on the bare floor without even a blanket. It was ridiculous that she wasn’t accustomed to such treatment despite her lowly status. But that was the truth. Since entering San Parvale, she had never once slept on a bare floor.

 “Ella.”

 She was sitting with her back against the wall. As the sound of the door opening was heard, a dull silhouette moved in the darkness at the same time. Ella, who had stiffened as if splashed with cold water, gazed at the darkness for a long time.

 “Ella.”

 She couldn’t ask how he had come. She had wanted to see him, but she had no face to show, so she couldn’t say anything. Why couldn’t she be more composed? If she was a servant girl, she should be obedient like a servant girl. Why did she make noise and creak when her master did something?

 Ella stared at him blankly. She wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Would she become a shameless person if she ran to him and hugged him? She didn’t want to be such a person. But……

 “How is Eddy?”

 She blinked. The child she had left behind appeared vividly before her eyes. Ella just stared at the man who was looking at her with his mouth closed. She didn’t understand how he had come all the way here to the queen’s palace. After hesitating, she spoke once more.

 “Master. How is Eddy, and how did you come all the way here?”

 “Is the child all you know?”

 “……”

 “I asked if the only important thing in your life is my son who isn’t even a year old.”

 “Well……”

 “If I don’t love my son, it’s your fault. Didn’t I tell you not to show me a face that only looks for the child? All this time, what have you been!”

 She bit her lip. The man was angry. Ella just stared at him intently. Actually, she was sorry. She wanted to say so much more. But the only words that came out were those. Was the child okay, did he miss her, and are you okay, did I cause you any trouble? She wanted to ask and apologize.

 But I can’t say anything. Because I’m sorry. Because all I do is lower your face like this. That I, who am filled with your love and filled by your love, cannot bow my head to anyone other than you, and thus torment you like this every day. I don’t want to cry, but when I see your face, I feel like I’m going to cry. I try not to be afraid, but when I see you, I want to be spoiled.

 “How far do you have to break me…!”

 “I missed you.”

 The man stopped speaking. His uneven breath broke and ceased. She got up and walked to him. She looked at him with weak eyes, fumbling.

 “I saw you in the evening, but being far away, it felt like we had parted decades ago…… When I thought we might never meet again……”

 She carefully raised her hand. He grasped her white hand that seemed like it would crumble without being touched. Ella smiled brightly. It was a smile that sparkled long like the midday sun. Larque couldn’t resist and kissed her right there. Her soft and sweet lips, tender like the flesh of a fig, were insanely sweet.

 He parted her lips and stole her obedient tongue, beginning to intertwine like snakes. The sound of her moans being crushed and scattered was extremely sensual, but even that was precious and tender to Larque.

 “Mmm! Haah……”

 Unable to call her name with his mouth, he recited her name inwardly. As sacredly as reciting a prayer. But the tongues mixing together were far from sacred. Ella showed tears as she looked at the man urgently inhaling her scent.

 After speaking, her heart ached even more. With her tears, he separated his lips and pressed his forehead against hers.

 “Are you crying because of the child?”

 “No.”

 “Then?”

 “Because of you.”

 “Why me?”

 “You……”

 Ella chose her words. The ashen eyes were rarely shrinking. As if he had been hurt. Even though she knew he wasn’t someone who would be hurt by a mere slave. The man’s finger wiped away the moisture that protruded. His lips touched where he had wiped. Ella embraced the neck of the man who was gently kissing her eyes and nestled into his arms.

 “……because you seemed to be in pain.”

 Because you seemed to be in pain. Because you seemed to be suffering. So, so I’m in so much pain.

 *** 

 He buried his lips firmly on the slender neckline extending from her chin to her collarbone. As he swallowed the scent embedded in her hollow Adam’s apple, Ella burst into a faint laugh. When he combed down her long hair, the woman sparkled her pinkish, kind eyes and buried her face in his chest. He inserted his finger into the cleavage that was swollen due to the tied bodice and corset. She raised her head and stared at him blankly. He swallowed as he felt the sensation of the soft, plump mounds.

 “This is a storage room in the queen’s palace. We shouldn’t do this.”

 “I know.”

 “Turn around.”

 The woman looked at him with eyes full of suspicion and then turned around. Larque began to undo the bodice tied in layers and loosen the corset that constricted her waist one by one. The velvet-textured corset made from shark bones was of the highest quality that even noble ladies couldn’t easily wear.

 “What are you doing?”

 “I’m loosening it because it will be uncomfortable if you spend the night.”

 His voice, dry with lust, was low and gloomy. Considering that they had mixed bodies at least once every two days since they began sharing a bed, the current situation was extremely unsatisfying. He suppressed his carnal desires and loosened the corset one by one. As she had attended the court banquet with him, Ella was wearing a dress of the highest quality. Although she couldn’t cover her shoulders like the noble ladies due to etiquette, the quality of the silk and the delicate embroidery decorating the hem of the skirt were more splendid and luxurious than the dresses of any high-ranking official’s wife.

 “How is it?”

 “It’s comfortable.”

 Ella, covering her chest, smiled faintly. Larque tied her chest again and slowly opened his mouth.

 “When the day breaks, the queen’s servant will search your room.”

 “……Yes.”

 Ella looked at the corset in the man’s hand with a gloomy face. Even though her waist was so small that there was no need to tie it, Anna always made her wear a corset. She tightened her waist every day, saying that as the Duke’s woman who had also given birth to his son, she should maintain formality. If things went wrong, she would probably never see Anna again. Ella bowed her head. It felt like sinking into an abyss with iron bars tied to her ankles. Suddenly, a cold hand wrapped around her cheek. Ella looked at him weakly.

 “Are you afraid?”

 She tried to shake her head. It might just be stubbornness, but she didn’t want to show any more weakness. However, the words that she wasn’t afraid wouldn’t come out easily. Larque stroked the shoulder of the woman who was looking over his shoulder with a dull expression. It felt like his heart was being crushed and crumbled.

 The small parts of himself were created, operated, and scattered because of this woman. He was inherently insensitive to the pain of others. He was insensitive to his own pain, so he had never experienced a worn-out history to begin with. Therefore, he had never felt tenderness for his young child or pity for his father who committed suicide.

 Isn’t it a curse from heaven? But the more cold and insensitive a knight is, the better he is at displaying his valor. His dead father praised his inhuman aspects as virtues. He said that the men of Durac generally don’t waste emotions on trivial matters. Wasn’t the first knight king who built the Northern Kingdom also a man known for his cruelty in his generation?

 “I……”

 The woman dragged her words. Every time she moved her lips and touched him with her thin knuckles, it felt like his blood vessels were breaking one by one. Every time this woman was in pain, every time this woman was sad, every time this woman was afraid, his murderous intent boiled. Me or others. Others who could be broken in any way except for this woman. A world unrelated to this woman.

 “I will kill Guinevere someday.”

 The woman raised her head. She seemed like she would glare at him with sharp eyes and scold him, but the woman just smiled crookedly. It was a smile that couldn’t be interpreted. He stroked her pinkish, clear eyes with his thumb. The woman grabbed that hand.

 “How can you kill Her Highness the Queen?”

 “I can even kill the king.”

 “Oh my! What blasphemous words!”

The startled woman covered his mouth with her hand. Larque stepped back without pushing her hand away and quietly looked at her. Whether she was truly startled or not, Ella’s face was completely distorted. Larque showed a faint eye smile and carefully removed her white fingers, kissing her thin knuckles.

 “Ella.”

 “Yes, speak.”

 “When the day breaks, the queen’s servant will escort you away. They will search your room and rummage through your belongings in front of you.”