#38. Escape from the Dragonia Grand Duchy 

“……Why me?”

Why should I do such a thing?

Since returning as Partanie of Dragonia, I hadn’t taken seriously the quests that appeared multiple times.

It’s not that quests themselves were unfamiliar. I’d grown accustomed to them in the world where I lived as Yeon Bora. Dungeons, quests, gates, skills, leveling up, and so on…….

But I was a recovery mage.

Not a hunter who fought disasters facing the world on the front lines, but someone who focused on casting healing magic and caring for the wounded from behind.

As such, the quests given to me were relatively peaceful, and I never obtained anything by putting someone in danger.

So, while not unfamiliar, they were unrealistic. That’s why I constantly escaped reality, telling myself that returning to this world was just a nightmare.

But now what?

“Why should I deliver him to those bastards!”

What reason could there be for handing over the benefactor who saved my dying life to those who most actively drove me to death?

“And all for a reward like their recognition or affection?”

Are you kidding me?

Anger surged through me from head to toe.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Go away, I don’t need such things. I wish all those Dragonia bastards would just die…….

But in the end, I couldn’t say anything.

‘……It’s because of my professional ethics.’

No matter what, as a recovery mage, it’s not easy to tell someone to die.

With that rationalization, I pressed my burning eyelids firmly.

“Fine, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

If I don’t do it, that’s that.

I turned away from reality and looked at Prince Lukaris again.

I couldn’t leave him like this. This place was merely a hideout, not suitable for a patient with such fatal wounds to stay for long.

‘First of all, it’s too cold. Prince Lukaris isn’t from Dragonia, so he’ll struggle to endure.’

I pondered while trying my best to lift his hot, heavy body. But with our significant height difference, his legs dragged on the ground.

“Ugh.”

Trying to lift such a robust body with my already weak frame made my knees buckle naturally. I was irritated at how small and frail my body was.

‘This won’t work.’

As I panted, holding him close and realizing I couldn’t move him with my strength alone, the quest continued to flash before my eyes, as if telling me not to ignore it.

“Get out of the way.”

I didn’t care either way.

My decision not to complete it was based on reasonable grounds.

Typically, the quests I knew demanded the achievement of specific objectives and imposed penalties for failure.

However, strangely, the quests that appeared to me after returning as Partanie of Dragonia didn’t impose any penalties for failure.

‘I wonder why.’

Offering rewards for success but nothing for the opposite? It didn’t make sense.

While briefly questioning this, I murmured absentmindedly.

“How did I survive anyway?”

Huddled and shivering in my bedroom, which was like a freezer, I had no doubt I would die.

Yet somehow I survived.

Without even frostbite, let alone any injury. Normally, at least fingers and toes would have been lost in such conditions.

‘And I woke up in the Red Velvet Room. Father, Taran, and even Siyeref appeared right away……’

With various complicated situations rushing in, I had forgotten the fundamental question of ‘why.’ I was also more focused on escaping immediately.

As if to answer my question, glowing status windows rapidly appeared before my eyes.

[Congratulations! You have successfully completed the quest <Survive oppression and cold>!]

[As a reward, ‘Fragment of □□’……]

[Congratulations! All ‘Fragments of □□’ have been gathered…… The item ‘Corrupted Divine Beast’s Egg’ has been purified……]

[The curse ‘Yoke of Original Sin’ has weakened……]

The results of what happened after I lost consciousness.

“……What does all this mean?”

I stared blankly at the status window, dumbfounded. When did I complete such a quest?

‘Ah, right. Anyway, I did survive.’

That was the quest completion condition, so it must have been fulfilled somehow.

‘Okay, let’s accept that.’

And the Divine Beast’s egg…… I don’t know exactly what happened, but it’s good that it was purified. Why or how it was purified, I don’t know, but it’s not a bad thing, so I can overlook it for now.

‘But, a curse?’

Since when was I under a curse? And what is this ‘Yoke of Original Sin’?

My head became muddled with the list of incomprehensible information.

“What do you want from me……”

At my murmur, the numerous status windows that had popped up disappeared all at once, and a single sentence emerged.

[These are the mission conditions to fulfill the desperate wish you prayed for until the very end.]

I blinked vacantly. The desperate wish I prayed for until the very end?

What is that?

As the question arose, a voice echoed in my mind.

‘I want to be loved.’

Ah.

My breath caught. I knew who this sobbing voice belonged to.

‘I want to be loved, truly. I really want to be loved…… I want to be loved and recognized by my brothers and father.’

It was me.

My past life.

Even in my final moments, dying painfully with a terminal illness, I had physically followed my family, trying to capture their backs with my eyes and straining to hear their voices.

‘I wish you would love me. Please, just once. Even just once, I wish you would cherish and value me more than anything in the world……’

I could almost see it.

In the Blue Brick Castle, in social circles, on snow-covered mountains and in lush forests.

Fighting demonic beasts, being insulted by people, being pointed at as the shame of Dragonia, yet continuously dreaming of such a wish.

Setting the purpose of my life, my everything, with the priority of ‘wanting to be recognized by my family,’ ‘wanting to be loved by my brothers and father,’ and running like a madwoman solely for that.

‘Please, love me.’

I’ll give anything. I’ll accomplish whatever you ask…….

The screams that diminished to whispers, and the sight of me becoming so desolate and damaged to the point of terminal illness, that desperate wish, flashed before my eyes.

“……So, this means.”

A teardrop fell from my already hot eyes.

“Because of that damned wish I made then…… the wish to be loved, all of this started?”

No answer came.

That was the answer.

“……Ah.”

I struck my chest hard with my fist.

It hurt. It was so painful that I couldn’t even feel the pain of my fist pounding my heart.

“Aaaah—!”

A scream poured from my throat.

The ‘quests’ I had faced so far suddenly popped into my mind.

Having to clear my name from the false accusation of stealing the Divine Beast’s egg, having to punish the insolent maid, having to survive persecution and abuse.

‘Do I have to go that far to be loved?’

It was futile.

“Ah, ha. Ahahaha……”

Bitter laughter echoed through the narrow hideout. Tears flowed endlessly from my wide-open eyes.

Recognition from the Dragonia Grand Duchy.

Love from my family.

For just that, I had to go so far.

I had to fight against those who persecuted me, prepared to get hurt, and ultimately even risk death.

“So, that’s why.”

Why I wasn’t loved in my past life.

No, who could be loved by you?

Cold and heartless blue-eyed Dragonians. You are so selfish and strong that you destroy everyone who comes to love you.

That’s how I was broken. I collapsed. In the end, I lost my life in pieces…….

The memory of my death in that miserable snowfield came back as vividly as if it happened yesterday. My heart felt like it was being torn apart.

In my past life, I was a fool who stretched out both arms and ran toward an unreachable rainbow.

I was an idiot.

“Ugh, sob……”

But I felt sorry for her.

Through the falling tears, I could almost see the young and foolish me from my past life.

Partanie, who blamed and hated herself, thinking she wasn’t loved because she was inadequate and lacking, that she was called the shame of Dragonia.

‘I’m sorry.’

I’m sorry I couldn’t become a better person. I’m sorry I couldn’t become someone great enough to escape the insults and criticism surrounding me.

As I was endlessly apologizing like that.

‘No, don’t apologize.’

A faint, low voice echoed in my ear.

‘You did nothing wrong. You did your best. No one could have done better in your situation.’

So, please don’t cry…….

A voice that sounded very kind but somehow sad.

Words I had heard from someone whose identity I couldn’t know, see, or recognize properly came back to my mind.

‘……Wait, came back?’

When and from whom did I hear such words?

With this question, my eyes opened wide, but the memory that I almost grasped quickly escaped my grasp.

My vacant gaze fell on the golden hair in my arms, on the unconscious Prince Lukaris.

‘Perhaps.’

A sudden thought occurred to me.

That the past I thought had ended with my death might not have ended there.

That there might be fragments of a lost past that I don’t know about…….

“……It’s okay.”

I pressed my tears into my sleeve and said to myself.

Though I hadn’t particularly wanted it, I had returned to life as Partanie. If I’m really curious, I can try to find the forgotten memories.

I can do anything.

Because family affection and recognition no longer hold me back.

“Ah.”

For the first time since returning to this world, I realized.

I was free.

This time, I could truly live solely for my own happiness and life.

Only then did I realize that the iron chains painfully binding my heart were loosening.

And then—.

[As the subject’s wish has changed, the quest direction is being readjusted.]

The wish I truly, deeply, and desperately desired appeared.

[Safely escape from the Northwestern Dragonia Grand Duchy.]