Chapter 17. Desiring

Calyx immediately retorted as if he had anticipated it.

“Are you satisfied as you are? With the reality that you can no longer call the home and homeland where you were born and raised your own?”

“……!”

“I don’t think the lady I know would be.”

He smiled as if he had no intention of hitting such a sore spot, despite having done exactly that.

Once again, cunningly and purely.

“I don’t wish to possess wealth. If I, who have survived until now by the royal family’s grace, start accumulating wealth through marriage, it would cause unnecessary misunderstandings. Not only do I not want that, but I am legally equivalent to someone under guardianship. I cannot dispose of or transfer assets freely without a proxy. If I marry, my wife would naturally become my proxy.”

While Matila’s laws did not recognize property rights for women, they placed no particular restrictions on wives becoming their husbands’ proxies.

Lottie, who had been searching for a realistic way to reconcile her freedom with her family’s continuation, was well aware of this.

But faced with the right to become a noble councilman and vast domains, she quickly abandoned the idea, doubting any husband would entrust proxy rights to his wife.

Of course, she wasn’t particularly keen on deliberately marrying a physically incapacitated man just to build her family with her own hands.

Yet there was a man who perfectly matched those conditions. Someone much closer than she thought, someone she had desperately hoped would not be that person.

“Also, just as I am not the type of man who proposes on a momentary impulse, I am also not the type who kisses just any woman driven by physical instinct.”

With Lottie’s eyes trembling like leaves in a strong wind before him, Calyx swallowed a strange sense of elation.

“I won’t deceive you with lies about love at first sight. You were nothing but an uninvited guest to me at the grand ballroom.”

“……”

“The same goes for our meeting at Grand Park. You didn’t properly respond to any of my questions and even showed a peculiar hostility toward me.”

However……

“I couldn’t accept the fact that you would become another man’s wife.”

He desired her.

“I had to ruin the engagement that way because I couldn’t bear it.”

“……!”

“How else should I express this feeling of not wanting to lose you to someone else, if not through a proposal?”

Under the slanting sunlight, a man infinitely brilliant and full of conviction confessed his feelings.

Now it was Lottie’s turn to respond.

Whether his feelings were genuine or not, Lottie felt dizzy.

“The men driven from Blue Brick have been spreading rumors that you’re a vain creature who wants a newlywed home as grand as the queen’s palace, a crybaby who bursts into tears at the slightest provocation, and an idiot who can’t even keep the royal family’s surnames straight.”

Now it seems they were thoroughly mistaken. Calyx added playfully and continued.

“Even if you later become a vain idiot, I wouldn’t mind. The fact that I want you won’t change, no matter what you become.”

In a way, it was an unremarkable confession. Yet it resonated with Lottie in an unexpected way.

‘What…… have I just heard……?’

He doesn’t mind if she’s a vain idiot? Did those words really come from that scoundrel’s mouth?

“It’s true that I’m a woman with a lot of vanity. I definitely declared that I wouldn’t marry unless my newlywed home was at least as grand as Dias Palace with every room decorated in crystal.”

“Would crystal alone be enough? Diamonds, pearls, sapphires. Ah, emeralds that match your eyes would look good lining the path from the garden to the entrance.”

“Excuse me, but didn’t you just say you’re under guardianship?”

“Do you know how much frozen trust fund I have? I said I lack legal capacity, not financial capacity.”

“A-and I’m an idiot! I’m a fool who can’t do anything on her own without her father. And…… and I also love alcohol very much!”

The more she spoke, the more pitiful Lottie herself felt.

Unfortunately, Lottie didn’t realize that to hide her true feelings from this man, she would have to close her eyes first.

Easily seeing through her lies, Calyx swallowed his laughter and answered quite seriously.

“If you’re an idiot and a drunkard, then I’ll become a fool and a drunk too.”

This was a disaster.

She had been able to easily repel gentlemen like Mr. Katz because they were on her remarriage list, but this was an absolutely impenetrable wall.

Lottie had no information about the man named Calyx Valdea. She didn’t even know what her former in-law, with whom she had barely interacted in her past life, couldn’t stand.

“It’s true. If you marry a woman like me, Your Highness’s life will become unhappy too. You’ll be miserably exhausted!”

“One more unhappiness added to an already unhappy life won’t make much difference. I don’t mind.”

“Even if I…… verbally abuse my husband and even hit him?”

“I know you won’t do that.”

“I’m serious.”

“I won’t believe it. Because it’s a lie.”

No matter what excuse she gave, Calyx wouldn’t budge. Lottie almost screamed in frustration.

“Even if I say there’s someone I like?”

In a momentary silence, the afternoon heat-laden wind tousled Lottie’s hair as it passed.

A moment later, his tightly closed lips slowly curved into an arc.

“Lie.”

Terrible man. Lottie finally gave up.

A young gentleman crossing the First Bridge spotted them and approached with quick steps.

Calyx felt his presence, turned around, and swallowed a bitter smile. They seemed to know each other.

“Where did you disappear to? I was looking everywhere for you. You said to wait just a moment, but you couldn’t even wait that long……”

The young gentleman, Luka Brown, who was exaggeratedly flustered as if to ask how long he had been searching, belatedly noticed the unexpected woman and rolled his eyes.

Receiving his glance, Calyx spoke as if it were nothing significant.

“The lady I just proposed to.”

“Pro…… what?”

Luka’s first impression upon hearing that word was probably not much different from Lottie’s.

Calyx fixed his gaze only on Lottie, as if he had no intention of kindly explaining to someone like Luka Brown.

“I said there’s a man I like.”

“……”

“What can I do? I still have no intention of giving up.”

Despite the gentle voice and the warm afternoon sunshine, those words sounded different to Lottie.

A voice as bleak as winter air, saying that he must have her.

“You keep making excuses about why you can’t marry me.”

Calyx’s expression softened again, as if sensing the frozen air.

“……That’s.”

“Do you hate me that much?”

His tone was light. But the words he spoke didn’t sound so light.

Her mind lost control and awakened memories of days past.

It was already a month ago now. When she became Calyx Valdea’s partner for a day at Grand Park.

They had been silently looking at the Contra River when it was time to part. As Lottie began to limp in her uncomfortable shoes, Calyx stared at her.

— I hope you’re not going to mention chivalry and offer to carry me or suggest we switch shoes?

When Lottie crossed her arms in front of her chest to make an X, Calyx snorted, as if that would never happen.

And then he said to her.

— Take them off.

After saying something perfectly designed to be misunderstood, he added as if surprised by her shock:

— Not what you’re thinking right now.

The shoes, I mean the shoes.

Lottie’s face, which had turned pale, flushed bright red.

Annoyed at being teased again, she protested, “What if I step on a stone and hurt myself walking barefoot?” He calmly replied that it would be better than crushing her ankles in those shoes.

It didn’t seem wrong, and she didn’t have the courage to take another step in those shoes, so Lottie pretended to give in and took off her shoes.

Walking a few steps ahead of Lottie, Calyx cleared the path ahead while pretending not to, as she walked barefoot.

He pushed away any protruding stones or dirt with his shoed feet.

Walking barefoot with shoes in hand felt more pleasant than expected, and following a path someone had cleared for her felt stranger than expected.

Especially since that someone was an unexpected person, so it wasn’t so strange that the memory remained with her for a long time.

‘Right.’

At least until just before the kissing incident, she couldn’t deny that she had thought somewhat well of this man because of that time.

The reason for recalling that time now was clear. She wanted to be persuaded. His rational logic for discussing marriage was so attractive.

She wanted to close her eyes and take his hand, regardless of whether he was the tyrant who had killed her.

She needed self-rationalization to allow herself to do so.

‘You’ve truly gone mad, Charlotte Ebenscher.’

She doesn’t know the most fundamental reason why this man must marry her.

She doesn’t know whether his affection is real or not. She doesn’t want to know.

But whatever the reason, she can tell he won’t back down easily.

And if things continue like this, she knows her endlessly weak heart will at some point be captivated by that cruel murderer.

And she knows what kind of hell awaits her afterward.

“Yes. I hate you.”

Lottie slowly rose from her seat. She looked straight into the eyes of the man sitting across from her. She hoped her true feelings would be conveyed sufficiently.

“……Lie.”

“……”

“You wavered.”

What she faced was still an unyielding wall.

An arrogant man who was confident that nothing could penetrate it.