Chapter 22. It’s Okay. Do More

Damn it. Just imagining sitting face to face with a man on a bed in a room barely the size of a palm made her head spin.

Perhaps sensing the despair in Lottie’s voice, a small laugh came from beside her.

“The patient should follow the doctor’s instructions.”

Calyx walked past Lottie and sat on the edge of the bed. Then he gestured to the space beside him as if asking why she wasn’t sitting down.

Lottie hesitantly perched herself on the very corner of the bed. Calyx let out a low laugh.

“Aren’t you too far, doctor?”

“D-don’t worry about it. I’m comfortable like this.”

Lottie opened the medicine box. The rattling sound continued for a while.

After dawdling until she felt she couldn’t delay any longer, she finally turned around.

She faced the patient who was quietly sitting, waiting for the doctor’s touch.

Her breath caught for a moment at his face, made even more captivating by his split lip.

“……”

Lottie awkwardly stretched out her hand and pressed a disinfectant cotton ball to Calyx’s lip. She must have applied too much pressure, as Calyx slightly winced when the cotton touched him.

When Lottie pulled back her hand in surprise, Calyx leaned his face closer.

“It’s okay. Do more.”

He brought his lips to her hand that was frozen in mid-air. As if kissing her fingertips, the wound touched the wet cotton.

Though it must have stung and hurt, he smiled. As if to say it was fine. As if telling her not to run away.

“……”

Though she had been entangled with this man often in her second life, she still had more memories from her first life.

The rogue who had suddenly kissed her in front of her husband.

The madman who had beaten her loyal servants to death.

The notorious murderer who had driven her and countless citizens to their deaths.

But she had clearly seen it.

In the third dream she had when she collapsed with fever, the man who had shot her definitely had brightly shining blue eyes. Not warm reddish-brown ones.

‘I don’t know how the same person’s eye color could be different, but……’

She could tell there was some great gap between the tyrant who had killed her then and this man who was now completely surrendering himself to her.

‘It’s not that I completely trust this man.’

But it seemed okay to get a little closer.

Partly because her curiosity about this man had grown stronger than her fear, and mostly because it was difficult to treat him while staying so far apart.

“……!”

Lottie moved a span closer to Calyx. The bed rippled once. Or perhaps it was Calyx’s body that had flinched.

Lottie silently focused only on the treatment.

Concentrating so hard on nothing else, she didn’t even notice that her hand bracing herself on the bed was slightly touching Calyx’s hand.

He noticed. But he didn’t remove his touching hand.

The promise not to touch even a fingertip was broken in less than ten minutes.

The distance that had been as wide as the bed now became so close that their breaths could mingle.

Both were so focused that they didn’t even realize it.

“That must have hurt a lot.”

“……You too.”

Lottie understood the meaning of his words that followed her unconscious murmur.

Come to think of it, this was their first meeting since his sudden proposal at Bates Square that day.

While she couldn’t entirely blame him for her fever, Lottie decided to cleverly use this to her advantage.

“Then, as a commemoration of my near-death experience, would Your Highness grant me the opportunity to ask one question?”

It was unclear at which point Calyx’s gaze hardened.

Lottie decided to push forward regardless. She had resolved to get an answer to her question no matter what.

“You know, don’t you? The real reason why Patrick…… His Highness the Crown Prince wants to marry me.”

If Patrick’s goal had truly been just to inherit titles and territory to secure his unstable position in the parliament, he would have had second and third alternatives.

If marrying her had really been necessary and urgent, he could have simply forced the marriage using the royal authority.

Yet Patrick had gambled his fate on uncertain outcomes, such as fabricating the feather incident.

As if he couldn’t publicly reveal that he wanted to marry her.

“What is the connection between the madmen in my hometown, your…… incident, and the inside story of my marriage to the crown prince? I…… no matter how much I think about it, I can’t understand.”

“Usually, in these kinds of riddles, the answer lies within the question itself.”

Calyx said. Due to the late hour, his voice sounded like a low whisper.

“Think carefully. Being as clever as you are, perhaps you already know the answer.”

Faced with such infinite trust in her, Lottie could only blink blankly.

She finally realized how excessively close they had become. It was too late to back away now.

“……No way.”

The crown prince who became a madman overnight. The first queen to ascend to the throne after the late king.

The crown prince who always struggled with legitimacy issues compared to his aunt. The territory of Count Ixe in Dempis that he coveted.

What Dempis was famous for.

“Are you saying…… there’s a way to deliberately induce madness?”

The madmen.

“That it’s related to my hometown, and Patrick wanted to marry me to get his hands on this method?”

Calyx only smiled meaningfully. There was no answer, but that was already enough.

It was a hypothesis she had dismissed as soon as it had crossed her mind, thinking it was absurd. The idea that there was a way to induce madness at will.

There were stories of people going mad due to witches’ curses, but those were just superstitions from hundreds of years ago.

Above all, if such a method existed, her hometown would have been in great turmoil long ago.

Yet Dempis had been as serene as an illustration from a fairy tale ten years ago and remained so now.

If such a method existed, surely she, who was born and raised there, would have long ago……

“……!”

Lost in thought, Lottie froze at this point.

Hadn’t she seen her mother, just before dying of tuberculosis in her childhood, screaming and wailing as if she had become a different person?

— The crown prince who had sworn loyalty to his father, the king, just the day before, became a madman overnight and killed his own father.

Lottie blankly stared at the man before her, recalling Calyx’s words.

“Charlotte.”

His two eyes rippled, appearing almost brown in the light.

“I loved this kingdom where I was born and raised, my father who gave me life, and the destiny given to me more than anyone else.”

How could I have killed everything I loved with my own hands?

The eyes she met seemed to be proclaiming his innocence with his entire being.

Lottie watched that silent outcry, holding her breath.

Should she believe him?

Twelve years ago, everyone had seen the young crown prince holding a knife at the bloody murder scene.

The world still pointed fingers at this man, calling him a patricide.

And I, knowing exactly what your future will be.

“That’s as far as I can answer.”

“……”

“Now, may I ask a question?”

Calyx asked in a low voice. Lottie, who seemed to hesitate for a moment, slowly nodded.

The treatment had apparently finished, as Lottie’s hand was hovering around the medicine box.

Calyx swallowed the terrible regret of wanting to crush even the uninjured side of his lips.

“Even after hearing the answer to the riddle…… is your heart still unchanged about not marrying me?”

Lottie’s hand, which had been organizing the medicine box, stopped abruptly.

Even in the brief moment waiting for her answer, his split lip stung. The fingertips that had slightly touched her tingled.

He resisted the urge to move closer and cover that small hand with his large one.

“……Yes.”

“Why?”

He had tried not to ask again but failed in the end.

While fearing the answer he least wanted to hear at this moment, he waited for what would follow. His throat burned from staring so intently at the lips from which the answer would flow.

In the end, he slightly covered her hand that had been lightly touching his.

‘If that name comes out of those lips, I will……’

“I am…… an artificial flower.”

The calm voice awakened Calyx’s dazed consciousness.

“Artificial flowers have no scent. They can’t bloom, bear fruit, or produce seeds. That’s how I want to live. Not as if being paired with someone is the entirety of life, but as an artificial flower that, even if fake, can preserve myself as I am for a lifetime.”

Lottie smiled gently after finishing her words.

In those light green eyes, Calyx read a transparent and pure sincerity.

The woman’s wish to become an artificial flower was the truth without a trace of falsehood.

Before that stubborn determination, Calyx felt a wall for the first time.

It was something he hadn’t felt even when facing her as she gave Patrick that indescribable look.

‘So the reason she put on those absurd acts in front of her suitors was…… this.’

Then what about me?

What should I do, I who said I would remain in your hate if I couldn’t gain a piece of your affection?

What about me, who said I would possess you even if you had another man in your heart?

“That’s as far as I can answer too. It’s late, so if that’s a sufficient answer, I’ll take my leave now.”

Lottie’s hand, which had been slightly entangled under his fingers, slipped away smoothly.

Before he could grab it, Lottie gathered the medicine box and stood up. After a polite bow, she opened the door and left with quick steps.

Even after Lottie disappeared, Calyx stared at the door for a long time.

The firmly closed door did not open again.