41. Medieval Quacks

“By applying medicine to the sword, the patient’s wound heals immediately!”

I prayed it wouldn’t be the case, but the third doctor proudly smeared medicine on the sword he had brought.

“At this very moment, just by doing this, the patient’s wounds are being healed. No pain and very convenient.”

“It’s not that you’re skilled, but that Sir Dwaine has unnecessarily good immunity!”

If he had received such treatment, he should have died, yet miraculously he survived, making money for this fraud!

Anyway, this is the problem. People who have nothing to do with actual treatment but somehow survive thanks to their own good healing abilities.

The extreme medieval period where the weak cannot survive. Let’s just not get sick. Let’s not meet doctors. That way, the chances of survival are higher.

“Revoke that person’s medical license immediately and make sure he never practices medicine in the north again.”

I’ve never met a healer, but I can tell that person is a fraud.

Why am I tormented by these guys every day? When you transmigrate in a romance fantasy novel, isn’t a priest supposed to come and pour holy power on you to heal? Why am I the only one in the real medieval period?

I could accept being an extra, but this!

“My ladyyyy!”

Bang.

At that moment, the reception room door opened with a loud noise and flapped like wings.

Sparkling blonde hair. Small frame. At the fingertips of the beautiful girl like a rose, a middle-aged man was dangling inappropriately.

“My lady, my lady!”

“Ro, Rose?”

“Gack!”

“I finally found him, my lady. A real doctor!”

No, that doctor is dying. Rose, you’re grabbing him too tightly; his face is turning blue.

At the same time, I remembered.

Lately, I’ve been completely preoccupied with interviewing quack doctors, and Rose has been following me around too.

So I was too tired and annoyed and just…

〈Rose, I’ll give you a mission.〉

Ah, ahhh.

〈A mission? For me?〉

〈Yes. Right now, the north has too many quack doctors like the one who tried to use bloodletting on you. Doctors who want to use bloodletting, or frauds who claim to cure diseases by deceiving people like those who lower fevers.〉

What did I say back then?

〈Rose, I believe that you, who were also a victim, can objectively evaluate doctors. Would you go around the north and inspect medical clinics for me?〉

Come to think of it, I definitely said something crazy.

“My lady! It’s this person, this person!”

What on earth did I say to a 15-year-old girl who follows me around because she likes me?

Feeling self-reproach, I slightly turned my head, but Rose, unaware, jumped up and down proudly showing off the doctor she had captured.

“This person used fluid therapy to treat patients!”

“Fluid therapy?”

“Yes! The medicine you gave me—water mixed with sugar and salt!”

“Th-this is the Grand Duke’s residence, isn’t it? I-I’m just a country doctor, why am I here…?”

The middle-aged doctor, Schmidt, was still bewildered.

“Originally he only gave salt water, but after hearing how you treated me, he added sugar to complete the fluid therapy!”

“What ratio do you use?”

“Pardon?”

Rose had practically kidnapped Schmidt, telling him he would find out when they reached the Grand Duke’s residence, but even after arriving, he faced a series of incomprehensible events.

“I asked what the ratio of salt, sugar, and water is.”

“Oh, in a jar this size, I put six spoonfuls of salt and one spoonful of sugar. Originally, I thought that since patients sweat a lot, they need to replenish with salty water equal to the amount of sweat they lose, so I gave them water with salt.”

Then he heard rumors that the Grand Duke’s physician and a lady who knew nothing about medicine had fought, and that lady had treated patients by giving them only water mixed with salt and sugar instead of using the latest medical technique of bloodletting.

From there, he found improvements, adjusted the concentration, and discovered the optimal ratio of six teaspoons of sugar and half a teaspoon of salt per liter.

Even at this point, Schmidt hadn’t realized who the young woman asking him about ratios was.

“What do you think about bloodletting?”

“While it might have some merit in draining pus from wounds, it should absolutely never be used on patients with weakened constitutions.”

“How much of your fluid therapy do you prescribe to patients daily?”

“As much as they sweat is appropriate. Any more is meaningless anyway.”

“Why? If it’s good, wouldn’t giving twenty bottles a day be better?”

“Do you want their bladders to burst?”

“When a knight is injured, what do you think about treating the sword that caused the injury instead of directly treating the wound?”

“What kind of foolish treatment is that?”

My goodness, how sensible.

How is this possible? A doctor I can actually talk to.

Though I was pretending to be expressionless, I was extremely impressed. Behind me, Rose drove the point home.

“My lady, this person boils his surgical tools in hot water before using them.”

Rose’s eyes sparkled.

“And he makes people wash their hands and feet when they come in from outside.”

“Pass, pass, pass! This person is Inkheart Castle’s new physician from today!”

“I knew you’d be happy, my lady!”

“Rose, Rose, you’re so kind! Rose, you’re so pretty! Rose is the best!”

“Right? I did the best job, didn’t I?”

Rose is much better than those who introduced me to three quacks to choose a physician from.

“Wh-what is this all about?”

The three quacks and the doctor Rose brought looked bewilderedly at the two of us dancing.

What else? It’s the beautiful story of the doctor Rose brought getting double the salary and the three quacks having their medical licenses revoked.

* * *

“Sigh.”

Darius unconsciously let out a small sigh. Not only had the day’s schedule been busy, but he had barely seen Anette again today.

It was Anette’s decision to dismiss Owen, the dedicated physician. Therefore, Anette was also in charge of interviewing for a new physician. These days, Anette seemed to have completely forgotten about their promised date, saying she couldn’t find any talent that pleased her.

Darius moved toward the reception room, planning to use the excuse that he had run into her by chance.

“Hehehe.”

However, what emerged from the reception room was not Anette, whom he wanted to see, but his acquaintance’s younger sister, Rose.

“I wondered where you’d been for a while. Are you bothering the lady again? I told you she’s a busy person.”

At Darius’s scolding, Rose’s cheeks puffed up and then deflated.

“The lady said she likes seeing me.”

“Don’t take casual remarks too seriously.”

Rose lifted her chin.

“She said I could call her sister.”

“What?”

“But I’m saving it. For the right moment.”

As a reward for Rose bringing a proper doctor today, Anette was in a good mood and promised to grant any wish. Rose was now boasting about this in front of Darius.

“I’m so excited. To be able to call the madam sister…! If we get a little closer, the lady will consider me like a real sister too, hehehe.”

That’s why no matter how much Darius scolded Rose, her mood didn’t worsen.

“You say she doesn’t, but the lady likes me. Really.”

Darius knew he should stop here. Rose was a girl younger than him, a sister he had known since childhood.

“I’m her husband. I don’t need permission.”

“……That’s unfair.”

Why did an arranged marriage have to be with Lady Anette! I’m jealous! I wish Lady Anette were my sister-in-law, or real sister, or half-sister!

Rose trembled at the insurmountable wall before her.

That incompetent Brother Lucion! As my brother, he should quickly get married like Brother Darius and make a clever sister-in-law part of the family! Of course, Lady Anette wouldn’t suit our family’s fool at all!

“Brother is in a relationship that can’t get any closer, but I still have a relationship that will only grow closer!”

I’ll get closer, I’ll definitely get closer from now on!

So I’ll wear matching outfits with the lady like sisters, have tea parties with the lady, and hear the lady say, “It would be so nice to have a sister like Rose. Will you be like a sister to me?”

Brother Darius can’t do that. Because he’s already her husband!

“Is that so? But what can I do? I’m already in a relationship where I’m scheduled to go on a date with Anette.”

“Ugh, a couple’s date!”

Darius, who had been worried that Anette might have forgotten their date promise, defeated Rose with a lie that didn’t even require wetting his lips.

With a gaze unnecessarily filled with satisfaction at dealing with a friend’s sister four years younger than him, Darius said once more:

“Yes, a date. Because we’re a couple.”

“Then there’s nothing I can do. This time, you should make the lady happy, brother. Next time, I’ll definitely be the one to date her!”

Rose pouted as if she had no choice. Until a month ago, the person Rose loved most in the world was Darius.

In truth, she couldn’t help but be pleased to hear that the two people she loved most were getting along well.

“Have you planned the date course? Surely you weren’t planning to take the lady just anywhere?”

“I was thinking of going to the market below the castle.”

“Where exactly below the castle? Oh my, let me help you. A woman’s heart is best understood by another woman. Eh? Surely you weren’t thinking of going to that tea shop? Brother……”

Rose began to earnestly meddle, giving Darius advice.

Anette, who was finishing up in the reception room and coming out last, was puzzled to see Darius and Rose with their heads together, whispering.

‘What important conversation are they having?’

Not realizing they were talking about her, Anette tilted her head in confusion.