52. Bond and Solidarity

“Well, I was younger then. On the outside, I was comforting the woman, but inside, I was trembling with fear that I might lose my position as a knight because of this. While I was just wasting time, my father eventually summoned me and exploded with rage.”

Barbarossa recounted the past with dead eyes.

“Father was furious that I had ruined the only chance for him to acknowledge me with my own hands. When he hit me, I just took the beating. At that time, even that meager recognition from him was important to me.”

Barbarossa emptied his glass cleanly.

“I was completely broken when my girlfriend called me. Ah, this won’t work. If things had continued that way, I would have made excuses, giving her some money and saying that it was more important for me to become a knight first. I’d have pretended, saying ‘It’s not that I won’t take responsibility for you.’ But my girlfriend beat me to it.”

She already knew what was coming next.

“She told me that mother had ordered all of it, and that the child in her womb wasn’t mine.”

The orange juice she had thrown away earlier suddenly seemed intensely appealing again.

“Is that when you realized?”

“No, if I had, I wouldn’t still be trash. I believed it, you know? Oh, how wonderful. A new excuse to shift all responsibility had appeared.”

Barbarossa laughed loudly while condemning himself.

“I was so angry that I ran to Lady Maude and told her that despite her dirty tricks, I would definitely become a knight, so she should keep her eyes open and watch.”

That was exactly what Lady Maude had wanted.

“But as soon as I left the main house, my dear half-brother punched me in the face. He asked how I could say such things without knowing the emotional state mother was in when she took all the blame. He resembles stepmother, though he’s still more emotional and human than her. Anyway, he rarely gets angry, but that was the first time I’d seen him so furious.”

She was surprised too. Sir Donau was a modest but diligent person who kept to his place. For such a person to get into a fistfight with his brother.

“I had no idea what he was talking about, so I punched Donau back just as hard, but after taking a few hits, I started to understand perfectly.”

Even the great Barbarossa’s voice trembled at this point.

“My noble stepmother had taken all the blame and resolved the situation, playing the villain until the end. At that moment, my knees suddenly buckled. No, Lady Maude. That woman who always sought fairness, I couldn’t believe she would go that far. But if she really did…”

Barbarossa suddenly made the sign of the cross, which didn’t suit him. Then he smiled with his eyes.

“This isn’t something I should say in front of a noble lady, but will you let it slide just once?”

“You’ve already shown everything anyway.”

“Damn, this is all fucked up. What a messed-up situation. Now I see that I’m just like my father.”

Barbarossa laughed self-deprecatingly.

“Father, that is, Sir Percival, was a man who spoke with his back. The kind of back that one day suddenly picks up his illegitimate child from the gutter, dumps him on his legal wife, and turns around saying he’s done his duty. You know the saying, ‘A man speaks with his back’?”

Tears were welling up in Barbarossa’s eyes. Oh, even gigolos can cry.

“Thanks to that, I grew up as a bastard. So I swore I would never grow up to be like my father. But when I looked in the mirror, there was a pathetic man exactly like Sir Percival. I was taking contraceptives, it wasn’t that serious a relationship anyway… preparing to escape with such excuses, a miserable bastard.”

A transparent droplet rolled down, wetting his charming tear mole.

“After facing the father inside me, I couldn’t walk the path of knighthood with a clear conscience. Someone like me never had the qualities of a knight from the beginning.”

“Your father who gave birth to someone like you is highly renowned as an exemplary knight, so there’s no reason you couldn’t be a knight too.”

“Regardless of my story, in your eyes I’m still trash, aren’t I?”

“Yes. You’re human garbage and an unfilial son.”

“My list of bad nicknames is growing.”

The drunken Barbarossa staggered and giggled.

“It seems Sir Donau didn’t tell Lady Maude anything.”

“What difference would it make if he did? It all ended up like this because of my fault.”

“Just like people raised by Lady Maude, how do you all keep your mouths so tightly shut? Don’t your tongues ever itch?”

She thought of her stepmother. She thought of her annoying step-siblings whom she hated terribly.

Being a different person from Barbarossa, if she had a stepmother like Lady Maude, she would never have lived like him.

Nevertheless, there was a bond that touched her heart.

A bond from the pain of being tied as family with people she hadn’t chosen.

She stroked the head of the man who was older than her. It was sympathy.

“It’s been six years since you gave up on life and stayed here.”

“Is that a medal? What’s the point of counting?”

“We have to count properly. If you’re going to live as a kept man who feeds off women’s backs, you need to ask if they remember when your birthday is, when your anniversary is, and ask for money like that…”

Barbarossa raised both hands as if disgusted.

“I don’t live by extorting people that much.”

“You can’t become a knight. Not just because of your status, but because your conduct gets a zero. So you don’t need to confess to me. Only knights can hold the hands of noble ladies. You formally serving me is out of the question.”

“……If you’re the Grand Duchess, I wonder what will become of Inkheart’s future.”

“But isn’t six years enough punishment for a mistake you made in your youth?”

Barbarossa, who had been clicking his tongue, met her eyes.

“……That’s how I, a third party, would judge. Actually, I just need you, so I’m scouting you. And no one questions honor and morality when it comes to mercenaries.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Are you worried about the woman you left like that back then? Then find her and finish what you couldn’t. Either vent your resentment by asking why she suddenly named you as the father and held back your progress as an illegitimate child, or more maturely, apologize for being a coward back then.”

In her view, this guy still thought he was a knight.

The ladies of knights who receive their glory have a duty to guide their knights on the right path.

But Barbarossa was not a knight, and she was not his lady.

Her knight was Darius, and she was the lady of their lord.

So she couldn’t pass judgment of atonement on him, nor did she want to.

“If you’re so ashamed of yourself that you hide in back alleys to avoid the world, then…what changes? If you’ve reflected enough, come out and do something productive. As you move around, you’ll meet that woman too, and you can have the conversation you couldn’t have then. And maybe, like the day you realized you were a pathetic piece of trash, some enlightenment will come again that changes your life, don’t you think?”

If it doesn’t come, there’s nothing to be done.

They say people die when they grow up.

Barbarossa stared at her with his mouth hanging open.

Ah, recruiting is really difficult.

‘……I’ll make you roll three times when you should only roll twice.’

But suddenly, Barbarossa started hitting his head with his palm, which was as big as a pot lid.

“Hey!”

“Damn it, I can see a halo around you. I need to quit drinking.”

“No need to quit. It’s perfectly natural to feel greatness when looking at me.”

Barbarossa snickered at her words. Is someone born to be a gigolo naturally good at laughing too?

“Don’t laugh. My husband won’t like it if he sees.”

“I’m used to men’s jealousy, so don’t worry. One or two more won’t make any difference.”

“No, the Grand Duke of Inkheart is different from men who control their women in back alleys like this.”

“So, which hand do I use to stamp my fingerprint?”

Barbarossa asked while fiddling with her arm in a slippery manner. She swatted his arm away like a fly.

“No need to stamp. You’re already mine.”

“I’m already yours? What should I do? It’s been a while since I’ve met such an aggressive woman, so it’s quite stimulating.”

“Oh my, I also felt quite stimulated seeing the mental state of the person I need to employ. I seriously wondered if I should really buy this wasteful ruffian.”

She waved the bundle of debt documents.

“You’ll work without pay until all of this is paid off. Since you’ve been bought, I won’t care about your human rights. We can discuss additional contract terms after you’ve paid all this off.”

“Wait, you didn’t buy those debt documents at full price.”

Exactly at 1/3 of the price.

“Hmm. What does my buying your unreliable debt cheaply have to do with the debt you need to repay?”

Barbarossa stupidly retorted.

“Am I being scammed?”

You just realized that now?

* * *

After finalizing the slave contract to exploit Barbarossa without pay, she returned to the castle.

‘I should tell Sylphid not to be so sentimental next time.’

Feeling greatness when looking at me, my foot. The halo seen behind me was undoubtedly the sentimentality of the grandfather-like Spirit King who only dotes on me at times like this.

Upon returning to her room, Darius, who had lost the bed conquest battle three times this week alone, had not given up and was in her room again today.

〈Maybe I’m tired of the usual taste and want something different.〉

Suddenly remembering what Barbarossa had said, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

Because you’re handsome.

Unable to say that, she just shook her head with a smile.

Oh please. How could anyone get tired of that face?

His features, which should have been colder and more austere, still retained a youthful impression, perhaps because he hadn’t weathered enough storms yet. But his face was so neat and modest that his ascetic impression aroused lustful thoughts.