Chapter 17. Decision, and Declaration

El gently stroked her throat which felt constricted, then clasped her hands together and pretended to be a gentle, obedient child.

“Come over here and sit down?”

Rapellian placed the tray on the tea table set up in one corner of the room and called for El.

El, who had been awkwardly standing near the door, rolled her ruby-red eyes in a full circle and then moved her feet hesitantly.

“You were sleeping soundly so I didn’t wake you. I thought you might be hungry, so I brought this. Would you like to eat? As you already know, our chef is quite skilled.”

Rapellian gestured with his chin toward the warm milk and freshly baked bread with rising steam.

“Briel and Riello are having their snack time now. When you’re growing, you need to eat well.”

El’s gaze remained fixed on the table, not moving.

It was completely different from the moldy bread found in garbage heaps.

The appetizing shape and aroma made El unconsciously gulp, her throat bobbing.

She also felt hunger that she hadn’t noticed until now.

El, who had been staring as if entranced, shook her head vigorously.

How fickle humans are.

The determination she had just made to leave this house immediately was now wavering because of the savory smell of bread.

‘But it looks delicious.’

Once she felt hungry, she could only think of one thing.

It was as if her mind had stopped working.

That’s when Rapellian drove in the final wedge.

“It won’t taste good if it gets cold.”

His gentle voice became an extremely sweet temptation.

El, not even seated in the chair yet, mumbled to herself in a small voice.

“Is it really okay for me to eat something like this?”

Rapellian cut the bread with a knife, picked it up with a fork, and held it out as he spoke.

“Of course. It’s your share. You must be tired of eating only soup, and this should be fine for you now. Here.”

His eyes curved gently.

Once again, she was caught by those captivating blue eyes that naturally drew her gaze.

El approached as if enchanted and opened her mouth.

Rapellian placed the soft, fluffy bread into her slightly opened mouth, like feeding a baby bird.

“Wow.”

If happiness had a taste, wouldn’t it be something like this?

A warm happiness bloomed in her mouth.

The soft yet chewy texture that completely enveloped her mouth and the savory flavor that instantly spread throughout her body melted away her resolved mind into a languid state.

‘O-okay. Just, just this one thing.’

It was embarrassing and awkward to herself, but it was beyond her control.

El, captivated by a taste she had never experienced before, hurriedly swallowed the bread. She didn’t even have the presence of mind to use the fork and knife.

Rapellian leaned back comfortably against the chair and watched how much El was eating.

Her thin cheeks, now slightly puffed up, were quite busy.

Her lips opening and closing like a small fish were adorable.

It felt somewhat different from his younger brothers who seemed like they could chew and swallow stones.

‘I should have taken care of her sooner.’

Rapellian had felt it during yesterday’s meal as well, but seeing how well she ate, he couldn’t even imagine how she had endured street life until now.

‘The more I look at her, the more concerned I become.’

Rapellian was seized by the thought that he wanted to make El plump and healthy as soon as possible.

Just until a moment ago, he had been determined to uncover the cause that made his sensitive senses more manageable, but now that didn’t matter at all.

‘What should I bring her next time?’

Seeing her expression over just a piece of bread, taking responsibility for El became far more important than the peace he had found by chance.

Rapellian thought about all kinds of delicious foods, trying to figure out how to fatten El up more efficiently.

“Cough, cough.”

The sound of a small cough broke his reverie.

El, who had been pushing bread into her mouth almost as if inhaling it, choked and coughed violently.

Her small hand patted her thin chest repeatedly.

Familiar with such situations, Rapellian very naturally brought milk to El’s mouth, just as he would do for the twins.

El instinctively drank the milk he offered.

The cheerful sound of gulping down the milk, gulp, gulp, even stimulated Rapellian’s appetite.

“There’s plenty more, so you can eat slowly.”

El, who had removed her mouth from the cup with a “Haah!” sound, shook her head repeatedly.

“N-no. This is enough.”

“Well, you should have a proper meal too.”

“This is enough for me.”

“Hm? That can’t be.”

She was at an age when she should be eating and growing well, yet she was satisfied with just this much?

Since the children of the Mosteros family who were in their growth period ate like crazy, Rapellian looked at her with disbelief.

“This is enough for me. And since I’ve eaten delicious bread as I wished……”

El stretched out her words as if gathering her breath to say something difficult, steeling her resolve.

“I…… I’ll go back after I finish eating this.”

“That’s fine—What?!”

Rapellian, who had been responding absent-mindedly, belatedly realized El’s intention and slightly raised his body.

El lowered her head at his reaction, smiled shyly, and picked at her fingertips out of habit.

“I’m grateful for your offer, but this is enough for me.”

Rapellian felt the same anxiety he had felt earlier and became frustrated at her voice, which was strangely resolute.

‘When others would be desperate for such an opportunity……’

Why would this child so easily let go of an opportunity that others would not want to miss?

As he pondered, his gaze was drawn to El’s bare feet.

After staring blankly, he turned his gaze and saw indoor slippers neatly placed not far away.

Though it had been a short time, Rapellian had observed El enough to understand what she was thinking now.

‘She thinks it doesn’t fit her. She probably believes that even things she rightfully deserves aren’t hers. The maid’s words from yesterday must have affected her too.’

One had to get used to both giving and receiving.

El’s life, which must have been barren and desolate, would have been far from such experiences.

Perhaps there were more instances of having things taken away and being oppressed than obtaining things by asking.

Rapellian brought the slippers, placed them in front of El, knelt on one knee to lower his posture, and matched eye level with her.

“It must feel strange and uncomfortable. It might be burdensome too. But there will definitely come a time when these fit your feet. I plan to find shoes that fit you before then.”

El tilted her head as if she didn’t understand what he meant.

Her appearance was so innocent that Rapellian, regardless of his own desires, absolutely did not want to send El back to the streets.

He took out a handkerchief from his pocket and reached out to wipe the milk from El’s lips. At that moment, El’s body unconsciously flinched.

Rapellian briefly withdrew his hand, showed the handkerchief clearly to El, and continued speaking as he wiped her lips.

“However, if you let go of something just because it doesn’t seem to be yours right now, you’ll never even get to check if these slippers will fit your feet one day. And there won’t be a day when new shoes are put on your feet.”

“Y-Young Master.”

“Everyone has their share.”

“What?”

“What I’m saying is that this is entirely your share right now.”

“……”

After folding and putting away the handkerchief, he stared directly into her ruby-colored eyes.

Under his unwavering gaze, El’s eyes, which had been darting around, firmly found their center.

“And the share you will have is created solely by your own strength. No one can take that away from you. So don’t be afraid and hold onto it. Holding onto it is not wrong.”

A life where resignation and giving up were easier, even when one didn’t want to.

Rapellian wanted to teach El the concept of her own share.

He wanted her to know the taste of achieving and accomplishing something on her own.

“It’s not originally mine. I was told not to covet such things.”

“It has already become yours through your own strength. So I want you to not hesitate and firmly grasp your share with your own hands.”

Rapellian’s voice was gentle, but his eyes shone with determination.

“Is it really okay for such things to be mine?”

To think that she had a share in this world. That there were things she could have.

Such things had never been placed before her until now.

Though it seemed like she had achieved things through her own strength until now, there was nothing she was allowed to have.

El’s eyes became moist and moved back and forth.

“It is yours.”

“Mine……”

“If it weren’t for you, Riello would have been seriously injured. If things had gone wrong, we might have been holding a cold corpse in our arms. Very helplessly.”

“Ah.”

For El, death was familiar.

People who starved to death, people who died being hit by carriages or cars, people who died from beatings, people who died from disease because they lacked a single pill of medicine.

It was familiar, but no matter how much she tried to get used to it, the appearance and smell never became familiar.

All those deaths were miserable and devastating.

El, knowing well the ruthlessness of death’s shadow, now realized that what she had done was by no means insignificant.

“It’s a terrible thing. You saved us from falling into hell-like despair. So grab everything you can. You deserve it. Don’t easily let go of what’s yours.”

Rapellian smiled slightly as he uttered his final words.

“Deserve.”

El’s gaze lingered on his lips before she softly repeated the word he had spoken.

Had the concept of deserving ever been part of her life?

It was a word she had never used or heard before, yet she couldn’t understand why it made her feel so elated.

And his low, soft voice saying these words to her for the first time, his deep blue eyes looking at her warmly, struck her heart with frightening power.

“Is that qualification really mine?”

“Of course. It’s entirely yours. So how you use that qualification is completely up to you. Use it however you truly want. You can do that as much as you want.”

El couldn’t give any answer and just firmly gripped the bread.

Rapellian decided to leave to give El, who seemed to have a lot to think about, some space.

“I have something to do, so I need to go. If you need anything, call someone.”

Left alone again after he left the room, El held the bread and fell into deep thought.

“Qualification. As I want……”

The words that had been circling in her mind inadvertently escaped her lips.

El spoke the same words over and over, her eyes solemn.

It was something she had never thought about before.

But once she started thinking about it, it was overwhelming and unbearable.

She felt like crying, like shouting, and suddenly felt goosebumps all over her body.

It was a sensation difficult to handle. A feeling impossible to endure.

“What I really want is……”

El looked down at the soft, chewy bread in her hand.

She stared for a long time at the bread held in her trembling hands.

To be precise, it was unclear whether she was looking at the bread or at her trembling hands, struggling to handle the overwhelming sensation washing over her like waves.

After staring blankly at her hands and the bread, El gobbled down the bread and gulped down the milk.

“Haah!”

Even just eating bread and drinking milk made her breathless.

Even this much was difficult to handle.

‘But……’

El recalled her life on the streets.

She remembered her life in the pickpocket den.

As she looked back on each of those moments one by one, El felt as if numerous wounds and bruises were appearing on her body.

This time, her whole body trembled not from overwhelming excitement but from fear stained with violence.

She had survived until now, overcoming everything while trembling like this.

Thinking about that, she felt like she could overcome this unfamiliar, overwhelming trembling, this ecstatic sensation.

‘God. Just this once, I’ll be greedy. Because it’s the qualification I created.’

El, breathing heavily, ran across the room, opened the door, and dashed down the corridor.

Not knowing she was in pain or dizzy, she ran through the vast ducal mansion.

No one scolded or stopped her.

And so, El reached the reception room where the people of the Mosteros family were gathered.

“I’ve decided.”