Chapter 38

 It was lewd but not an unfamiliar action. Since they had started sleeping together, he had always been obsessed with her br*asts and buttocks. Burrowing between her cleavage and thighs while panting had been an everyday night occurrence, so there was nothing to be startled about. Yet sometimes, s*x with him was overwhelming.

 Especially in moments like this. At the end of continuous tension, when she had to spread her plump thighs, it was even somewhat disappointing. Ella looked down at the man who was biting her nipple and erecting his manhood.

 “Stop, stop……”

 Perhaps finding it difficult to suck while bending his head, he came out of the water. Ella watched the man who was quickly putting on his robe while breathing heavily. His hands lifted Ella, who was sprawled like a crumpled garment. She was immediately moved onto the bed.

 “You are not Eselmund, Master.”

 She covered her br*asts. Larque looked down at Ella with a blank expression and then took out his erect member from between his robe and rubbed it against her thigh. Ella stopped his hand that was trying to lift her skirt above her navel.

 “I’m on my period, Master.”

 Could the nausea she had been feeling be because of this? Ella stared at his fingers circling her lower abdomen. It seemed like the pain evaporated every time he touched where her uterus was. It had been a little over three days since it started, so the pain wasn’t severe, but there was still a lingering ache that stabbed her.

 Suddenly, she thought of Eselmund. Before coming to the forest, Eselmund had been entrusted to the wet nurse again. The child didn’t cry as if he was used to it, but he whined a few times when leaving her arms. She felt blood rushing to her lower abdomen. More precisely, it was where her uterus would be. Ella looked at the man with one eyebrow twisted.

 “It hurts.”

 “Where?”

 “My stomach.”

 “Menstrual cramps?”

 “Yes.”

 The fingers that had been circling between her p*ssy and lower abdomen trembled slightly. Ella quietly watched what he was doing. The man got up from the bed, turned around, and began to masturbate while holding his member. His c*ck, as thick as an adult man’s forearm, stiffened and ejaculated. Ella looked at the sight with tired eyes. After several ejaculations, his member returned to its original state. He wiped his hands with a wet towel and sat in front of Ella again.

 “Belmont said there’s a medicine that stops menstruation. He said there’s a pharmacist in Tulsi who specializes in that medicine. It’s a drug that only prostitutes from brothels seek, so I didn’t tell you about it.”

 His elegant fingers touched her stomach. Ella stared at him, waiting for his words. Unlike the general public who saw no difference between servant girls and prostitutes, Larque strictly separated the women from brothels and her. If this was the reason why he was strict about servant girls’ chastity while not being bothered by legal wives replacing knight servants as mistresses, it was not a welcome reason, but Ella had nothing to say. Anyway, at least prostitutes were free people. A knight’s bedchamber maid was a slave.

 “Are you alright?”

 “……Yes.”

 Ella nodded to the man who was examining her complexion. As accustomed as he was to s*x, he was familiar with taking care of his servant girl. From the age of fourteen when she started her period until now. On days when she had her period, the man always personally looked after her. So this touch was also familiar to Ella.

 “If your menstruation stops, such pain will disappear.”

 “But I won’t be able to have children.”

 “You have Eselmund, don’t you?”

 Ella didn’t respond. She hadn’t thought about becoming barren. It would be nice if her period disappeared, but she would become a body that could no longer bear children. She hated that. She hated the idea of having more children with Larque, but…… Anyway, she didn’t want to intentionally become barren.

 “That means I can’t bear any more children. You can have children from other women when you want, but I…… Anyway, it’s unfair. That is.”

 “It would be nice if there were methods other than becoming a eunuch, but I have no other options.”

 Ella quietly looked at him. He was talking about permanent contraception. It was as if he would do the contraception himself if he could filter out the seed from his s*men. Ella pondered his words carefully and slowly opened her mouth.

 “You might be satisfied with Eddy, but I’m not.”

 She carefully expressed her opinion. She had worried repeatedly about possibly having another child with Larque, but thinking about it, she wanted to have one more. The happy home that occupied a corner of her mind always had two or three children playing in the yard. Chickens laying eggs in a small wooden hut and a mule. A gentle dog wandering around the yard and a cat sitting on the hearth. That was the pastoral home Ella imagined. It was far from how she lived now, but that made it an even more desperate dream.

 Anyway, it might be a dream that would never come true, but she didn’t want to remove even that possibility.

 “……Do you want more children?”

 “That’s not it……”

 Ella was suddenly frightened. As she spoke, it sounded like she wanted more children. Unable to take back what she had said, she just trailed off.

 “Then?”

 “I think I might get pregnant with someone else’s child someday, not yours. I want to have one or two more children…… So I think that would be a prettier picture…… So, so for Eddy……”

 The man was silent. Ella carefully examined him. His face, which she expected to be distorted with anger, was surprisingly no different from before. His hand, which had stopped moving, moved again. It seems like she had made a mistake in her words, but would it pass like this? It’s a thought she had had since childhood until now, but she didn’t know she would blurt it out like this.

 But it’s the truth, isn’t it? Someday he will marry a nobleman’s daughter. Even if it’s when she’s much older, she will have to leave San Parvale. Just as Ligita is trying to get even a small noble gift from Count Roymar for him. Ella too must think about life after her youth fades, after he gets married. Eselmund is lovely, but wouldn’t two cute daughters who resemble her be nice too? That had been a long-standing wish. To live ordinarily, steadily, forming a family. It’s a dream Ella has never abandoned.

 “I……”

 “I heard you’re close with a guy named Kels. An apprentice gardener, was it? Or a stable boy?”

 “What?”

 “Have you slept with him?”

 “What……”

 It was as if he was asking if she had eaten lunch. The sun is bright today, so it might be nice to have a meal under the shade. That kind of tone. A flat tone. So there was no hostility visible. Nevertheless, Ella froze and mulled over what he had said. The more she thought about it, the more chills ran down her spine. The kind yet unkind question repeatedly probed her.

 “What, what……”

 “I’m asking if you slept with that bastard.”

 She sat up. Even the menstrual cramps stabbing her lower abdomen didn’t matter much. After all, what was probing and digging into her was the man’s eyes.

 “I don’t understand why you’re thinking that way. I don’t know why you’re saying such things, I, I……”

 “Or are you planning to sleep with him?”

 “Master. That’s not true. I just……”

 There were no words she could properly connect. As her lips trembled violently, he narrowed the distance. Her appearance reflected in his gray eyes was terrible. She tightly gripped the bed sheet.

 “Where and with whom did you sleep? Tell me. Now.”

 “That’s not true, Master. That’s not true. I’ve never done such a thing.”

 Her eyes, filled with heat, immediately became hot. Even thinking about it again, she was puzzled as to why she was receiving such suspicion. She had just spoken about what she wanted to achieve someday in the very distant future. So why was she being suspected of sleeping with another man?

 “You’re misunderstanding.”

 “Didn’t you say you would bear seed that isn’t mine? Dare, dare to say in front of me that you’ll sleep with another man.”

 “That’s……”

 “Do you find me amusing because I adjust everything for you? Dare to say in front of me that you’ll spread your thighs for another man.”

 “Master. That’s wrong……”

 “Shut up.”

 His face was completely distorted. Since this was the first time she had seen such an angry face, Ella didn’t know how to soothe him. She couldn’t think of anything—how to apologize for her mistake, what words would extinguish his anger.

 “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just, just wanted to have more children. So.”

 “You said you don’t want to have my children.”

 The tears that had been welling up moistened the corners of her eyes. While she was trembling violently, Larque, who had been biting his teeth, suddenly crashed his lips against hers. She opened her mouth without resistance and accepted him. Her head, filled with heat, foolishly couldn’t come up with any excuse. Ella couldn’t push him away and replayed the blankness. It was foolish, foolish, and foolish again, but distantly, his tongue, filled with poison, was soft. The man traced her teeth while simultaneously biting her lips.

 She opened her eyes that had been closed. He was holding her br*asts and mixing saliva. It was the first time she felt not even a layer of affection. Just punishing an immoral girl. An act that amounted to nothing more than that. His hand lifted her skirt. Ella pushed his chest and separated her lips.

 “Not today.”

 “I know. Just spread your legs.”

She didn’t respond to his low voice. Without asking, she seemed to know what he was going to do. The man pushed his c*ck into the gap between her thighs and began to move his hips. Ella released a suppressed moan and turned around, raising her knees. The slick pole entered between her closed thighs. It was an indescribably strange sensation. His firm hands kneaded her buttocks, and the faint moans that had pooled at the corners of her lips fell drop by drop. Ella tightly closed her eyes.