Chapter 5

 Why? Why was he so cold? Wasn’t he the father who had been nothing but gentle during conception? He seemed to have no interest in the little one. Yet he had been kind when it was in the womb. He had stroked her belly and spoken to it. Though his gentle words felt awkward, Ella had appreciated even that touch. Were all knights like this? Were noble knights, those men, all such creatures? Perhaps they were. They might all be such people.

 Though Sir Endymion hit Marie, he hated to see her cry. Despite turning pale when Marie was in pain, he had no hesitation in hurting her. They all seemed crazy. The men who called their children horrible were most enthusiastic about making them.

 “Get in.”

 “Lend me your clothes. Something of the same color.”

 “I only have the dress made of yellow fabric.”

 “Is that all you have?”

 “Yes.”

 “What if Sir Endymion asks where the dress came from?”

 “Tell him the truth. That the women poured sewage on you.”

 “Then he’ll try to kill those women.”

 “There’s nothing we can do about that.”

 Ella answered irritably. Marie burst into tears again. She asked what would happen if the women were executed because of her.

 “I don’t want to become a murderer.”

 Marie trembled. Ella understood Marie’s tears. That man had a history. More than enough of one. He would not forgive the women who poured sewage on the woman carrying his seed. Ella silently wiped her friend’s body. The sewage had soaked in deeply, leaving Marie with an extreme stench.

 “Sir Endymion will call for me tonight. Maybe he’ll push me away when he smells this. At least he won’t hit me since I’m pregnant.”

 “That’s why you need to tell the truth. Your master is a violent person.”

 Ella said while wiping Marie’s swollen belly. Marie looked at Ella with tear-filled eyes and whispered.

 “You’re lucky, Ella. Sir Larque always treats you well. He treated you well even when you weren’t pregnant.”

 “……”

 “He’ll be good to your baby too, right?”

 When Ella didn’t answer, Marie spoke after a while. She seemed to be thinking of the children at the Marquis’s castle.

 “Sir Larque gave your child his family name, didn’t he? I thought he would, since he’s so kind to you.”

Marie chattered. She had two children with Endymion, and counting the one in her belly, it would be three. The first and second were boys, aged five and two. And the children born during her third pregnancy didn’t receive Endymion’s surname. Marie would cry and upset everyone whenever that story came up. Ella stopped the conversation before her friend could cry more.

 “It doesn’t matter.”

 Marie turned her head. She had been talking to the child in her belly, but when Ella said it didn’t matter, she fell silent. Ella blinked.

 “Eselmund is still young.”

 “……”

 “I don’t care if the child doesn’t take their father’s surname.”

 No, that wasn’t true. It was just wishful thinking. Ella pressed her lips together. Marie continued stroking her belly. She seemed to be praying for the child in her womb to be a girl. Marie glanced at Ella and turned her head, apologizing. Ella handed her a wet towel and left the bathroom. Sir Endymion was a sensitive person. She was rough with her own servant girls, but even more so with those who weren’t hers. No one knew how she would react if Marie came wearing a dress that wasn’t one she had provided. But regardless, she couldn’t leave the barracks naked. She brought an old dress from the quarters and entered the bathroom. She woke up the dozing Marie, finished washing her, and sent her back to Sir Endymion’s barracks.

 After sending Marie away, she returned to the bathroom. The cooled water was lukewarm, but she couldn’t pour this over herself. She emptied the tub and went outside. The ground where the knights had set up their barracks for war was a wasteland where only weeds grew. The land bordering the Remond forces had uneven soil. Nevertheless, there was a forest and river near the village. Ella recalled that river. Some villagers who couldn’t afford a bathtub at home said it was where they bathed their newborns and themselves. A few days ago, knights had called for servant girls when they went to bathe with their squires.

 Though it was night, the moon was bright, so it should be fine. Ella hurried her steps before the late hour grew deeper.

 ***

 The river was called the ‘Moon River.’ Though it seemed to have a different name on the map Larque looked at, all the village women called it ‘Moon River.’ Ella didn’t mind. Whether it was Moon River or Sun River, what did it matter as long as she could wash? She quickly stripped off her clothes. Everywhere Marie had touched reeked terribly. She took out the spices and soap the servant girls used from her basket. Servant girls’ clothes were simple and easy to put on and take off. After throwing off her dress carelessly, she dipped her feet in the shallow water. Then she began to enter slowly.

 The moon was brilliantly bright. The forest, darker than night, curved beneath it. The clusters of stars wandering around the full moon were like shards of broken glass. They looked ready to pour down from above at any moment. Ella straightened her bent neck. The elms, birches, and oaks surrounding the river gave off the scent of a quiet forest. She poured water over her shoulders. The spring night was serene. The blowing wind was chilly, making her shoulders hunch.

 Just as she was washing her face and pouring water over her arms and chest, she heard a rustling sound. It came from where she had left her belongings. Fear suddenly surged. Covering her chest, she turned around. She stared into the darkness, completely rigid. The world seemed to have turned into a vacuum, so quiet. Without even the usual sound of birds, Ella trembled. Was it a person? She stared fixedly at the figure lurking near where she had left her things. Something could be seen prowling around her belongings. Ella slowly walked toward where the moonlight reached to try to identify it. The fear that had surged up had now turned into a stiff tension that pressed on her throat.

 “Who……”

 At that moment, there was a splash! The sound of water splashing. Ella instinctively realized it wasn’t an animal. Though it would have been terrible even if it was an animal. She instinctively stepped backward. If caught, she might be raped. Whether it was a village man or a soldier of the kingdom. It would be terrible regardless of who it was.

 With each step backward, she thought about the life of a servant girl who had been raped and abandoned. Though servant girls typically had their legs spread along with beatings whenever their master’s mood turned sour, this was clearly a different matter. When the master was the subject of rape, nothing changed in a servant girl’s life. But when the subject was another man who wasn’t the master, it was different.

 “Ah, don’t come!”

 Moonlight flowed down on her. The tall figure hadn’t moved since jumping in with a splash. She bristled with fear.

 “Ella.”

 The arms covering her chest went limp. Half-crazed, she collapsed. Before her bottom could touch the riverbed, Larque approached and lifted her up again. Well, saying he lifted her up was practically the same as saying he picked her up. His hand, free of gauntlets, held her gently. Ella tried to see him in the moonlight. She glared at him with furrowed brows and a tense face. There was a faint anger beneath the man’s eyes. Ella poked his cheek. It was an unconscious action, and her finger trembled the moment it touched his cheek. The man simply walked out of the river silently. Ella curled up like a baby in his arms without a word. She hadn’t even finished washing, what should she do? She couldn’t ask him to wait while she finished quickly. She thought if she carelessly moved her mouth when the atmosphere wasn’t right for such words, she might receive a severe beating.

 “My lord.”

 Ella was still naked. That wasn’t what bothered her. As someone of a status that required her to undress even when clothed in front of him, Ella wasn’t afraid of standing naked before him. The thing they always did when meeting was entwining their legs after removing clothes. However……

 Before she could say she was cold, her body trembled violently after leaving the water. The river she had been in was cold too, but her body, which had been relaxed in the river, felt even colder outside. As soon as Larque set Ella down on the shore, he took off his red cloak and wrapped it around her. The cloak, which usually fluttered from his right shoulder with animal fur at the collar, was what he had been wearing. Ella, wrapped tightly in that cloak, threw herself into his embrace. The cloak, handled and dyed by the artisan in charge of the royal family’s fabric and leather, was decorated with both the Duke of Durac’s seal and the royal seal in gold thread. Ella felt his touch caressing her exposed thigh as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. Back in the man’s barracks, Ella sniffed to check if her body smelled of dirty water. Seeing this, Larque spoke.

 “Did you not hear my order to warm the bed?”

 “It’s not that.”

 “Then.”

 “I smelled because I washed Marie.”

 “Why are you washing Sir Endymion’s servant girl?”

“She’s pregnant. She finds moving difficult.”

 “And?”

 The man’s gaze was fierce. He seemed to be holding back and suppressing something. Ella understood his anger more than she understood him. What the man found most intolerable was her leaving his side. Escaping to places beyond his sight, beyond the reach of his touch. No. Even without dramatically calling it ‘escape,’ he simply hated Ella disappearing from his sight. Not just on the battlefield, but also at the Duke’s castle. She was always by Larque’s side. She poured his tea, arranged his bed, and attended to his needs by his side. She did nothing else. Partly because he hared her hands being troubled, but more so because he seemed to hate her disappearing from his sight.