#Chapter 1. A Trophy, Not a Daughter

A woman is a man’s trophy.

“You’ll be the best among the trophies that will go on the duke’s display case.”

Even the moment the white veil was placed over her head, the words she had heard countless times from her father’s mouth came out. Trophy. The best among them. The greatest praise her father gave to Ariel.

But perhaps because it was a story she had heard since childhood….

Ariel smiled shyly and nodded at her father’s words. She thought it would be nice if she were the prettiest, the best trophy in her husband’s display case. She looked forward to how proud he would be, how joyfully her husband’s face would change because of her.

“Wah. Wah.”

That was until she gave birth to a daughter.

The moment she embraced her daughter with her hot body temperature and face crying loudly in her arms. The pulse that made her feel vividly that she was alive. Along with the midwife’s face that wrinkled as if pitying her, the moment she held her daughter, some indefinable fear washed over Ariel.

Trophy. A trophy, not a daughter.

At first she would cry like this, but soon she would have to forget how to cry, and forget how to giggle. A lady must not open her mouth wide and must not appeal to emotions. She must always respect her husband…….

Her heart pounded. Ariel had been confident that she had never complained about her life, but the moment she projected her life onto her daughter, nausea rose.

Why? How?

Why the nausea?

I married the most prestigious groom in the empire as the best trophy. How? When there’s no one who doesn’t envy me, why am I…….

When Ariel’s face turned pale, the midwife quickly relaxed her expression and comforted her.

“Oh my, Madam. You’ve worked hard. It would be more comfortable if the first was a son. But they say daughters are just right for raising first. These days they say it’s fine to have a daughter first too. They say if the youngest is a son, the first daughter takes good care of him as an older sister.”

Ariel raised her head at those words her mother must have heard too. She couldn’t see the midwife’s expression well. Her entire vision had become blurry. The pulse of the daughter in her arms became uncomfortable, so Ariel quickly ordered the midwife to take her daughter away.

But even when she rested her tired body against the pillow, Ariel’s eyes didn’t leave her daughter.

“No. Give me my child back.”

“Oh my. Madam. What are you doing with that body? You need to rest quickly. When His Grace returns, you’ll need to bear a son next time.”

“…… Give me the child.”

Eventually, Ariel smiled brightly as she held her daughter in her arms. Yes, at least my daughter.

*

Her husband Damian was busy. Since he was a duke, many people sought him out, and he was also the empire’s sword, so it was perhaps natural. During their years of marriage, the times he took complete rest at the ducal residence were few enough to count on one hand.

Damian couldn’t watch the series of processes where the child was born, rolled over, walked alone, and said “mama.” He had returned to the ducal residence after years of war, but before he could rest for even a few days, he went out because of some rebellion across the sea and spent half a year on the battlefield before returning.

The sun had scratched deeper marks on his face, which showed clear signs of fatigue.

“Dad?”

The word from the child’s mouth was so unfamiliar that Ariel’s shoulders trembled. The small hand she held tightly wriggled and moved. She could feel the child wanting to run out quickly while trying hard to hold back. The existence called dad, whom she had seen only a few times, would be difficult to run to and hug immediately.

“Damian. You must be tired from the long journey. Go rest.”

But Ariel wasn’t much different from her daughter. The intimacy with her husband who had returned after months wasn’t particularly greater just because Ariel was his wife. He tended to respect Ariel as a duchess, but his usual taciturn personality made him difficult to approach, and while she had welcomed him during their honeymoon, he didn’t seem to like it much. Rather, she could feel that he wanted to wash immediately and lie down in the bedroom to rest his weary body.

What he sought was Ariel’s body.

If it was fortunate, it was fortunate. Thanks to that, her daughter was born, and to Ariel, her daughter had become a greater existence than her own life.

“Lucy.”

Ariel’s voice calling the child was affectionate. The child’s green eyes looking up at her sparkled. People said the first daughter resembles her father’s appearance a lot, so people called Lucy ‘little Damian. But these eyes were the same green eyes as Ariel’s.

“Mom.”

When she spread her arms wide, the child came into her embrace. A bright smile quickly rose on Ariel’s face. When she lifted the child and turned around, Damian called Ariel from behind.

“Ariel. Come to the bedroom.”

“…… Yes? Yes.”

Ariel, who unconsciously frowned, held Lucy tightly. Did he have to say such things in front of the child? She was still young so she wouldn’t understand such words, but still…….

“And Ariel.”

When Damian called again, Ariel was quickly composing her expression.

“I heard there’s no teacher for the child.”

Ariel, who was startled, hugged Lucy even tighter. Anxiety squeezed her throat like a noose, making Ariel’s fingertips tremble.

Lucy, sensing her mother’s anxiety, looked very quietly at her dad standing across from them. She seemed to know without being told who had made her mother anxious.

“Damian. I’ll raise the child. As you know, Lucy is still young, and even without such a tutor, I can take care of her sufficiently.”

“There are rumors in high society. That the Zenova ducal residence raises a child without a single teacher. That you’ve abandoned the social circles that should rightfully be under Duchess Zenova’s care, saying you’re raising a child, and you’re holed up only in the ducal residence. Do you think it’s right for the Zenova ducal residence to become a laughingstock outside because of you alone?”

“Damian. I’m sorry. But……”

“Leave the child to a nanny and do your job.”

Though there wasn’t a single wrong word, why did her heart ache as if it were being torn? The answer was predetermined, but her lips wouldn’t part. When she barely nodded and gave him an obedient answer.

“…… Dad, bad. Mom, bully.”

At the angry voice, Ariel’s gaze went down. Lucy, who was hugging her neck tightly, looked straight at Damian and scolded him with her small lips.

“…… Raising her without a teacher has made her ill-mannered.”

At Damian’s words, Ariel’s eyes widened and she frowned sharply.

What could a mere seven-year-old daughter know? Ill-mannered. Ariel quickly covered one of Lucy’s ears. She was going to put the child down in the room immediately and tell Damian he needed to be careful with his words about this at least. But Lucy’s voice was much faster than Ariel’s urgent steps.

“Dad didn’t even greet Mom and me after meeting us for the first time in so long! You’re ill-mannered! You, you, stone! Stone dad!”

Ariel froze, only now realizing that Lucy’s voice was this loud. In the midst of this, why was she a little proud of the way she expressed her emotions that clearly conveyed her intentions? The metaphor was apt too. A stone. Come to think of it, he did seem similar to a stone. Hard and taciturn.

But now wasn’t the time to show approval. Still, telling dad he was ill-mannered. She must have learned another word from Damian’s speech. Her learning ability was fast too. My daughter. No, this wasn’t the time to be happy.

“Damian. Let’s talk later.”

Ariel’s voice rang out in the silence where even the servants had frozen stiff.

*

Ariel, who had returned to Lucy’s room, carefully put down her daughter from her arms. Then she gently held her shoulders and looked at the child’s face while calling her name. She was going to tell her that using such words to dad was impolite.

“Lucy.”

But tears hung like droplets in the child’s big eyes as her lips trembled.

“Lucy waited for Dad. But Dad……”

Hearing words different from what she had thought, Ariel’s eyes squeezed shut. The child had waited for dad, but the dad who returned was only scary, so how hurt she must have been. The child’s expression was clumsy, so she must have attacked dad with her disappointment.

Ariel unconsciously hugged the child and patted Lucy’s back.

“Dad likes Lucy too. But dad just returned from a ship today, right? So he’s very tired and exhausted, that’s why.”

“Really? But Lucy said mean things to Dad.”

“Yes. Mom will talk about that well. But Lucy can’t say such things to Dad either. Understood?”

“…… Yes. I’ll definitely hold back next time.”

Seeing her daughter nod, tears welled up in Ariel’s eyes too. Why is our daughter so tender and smart? She could cry loudly saying she’s disappointed, but she understands mom’s heart so well, it’s troubling.

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“You know what? Benjamin from House Orsini says that when dad comes back, you get a sibling.”

At Lucy’s sudden words, Ariel’s lips closed.

“I want a sibling too, and since dad came back, will I get a sibling too? When? Will there be one tomorrow?”

“Um, siblings are, um, when mom and dad offer sincere prayers to heaven in their room, heaven gives them to us. I think that’s what Benjamin meant. So no one knows when one will come. Because heaven gives them to us.”

“Then did I come from heaven too?”

“Of course. Mom really, really wished for it, so heaven sent down a little angel, and that’s our Lucy.”

“Wow. I see!”

Lucy laughed with tears still glistening in her eyes that hadn’t been wiped yet. Ariel wiped her daughter’s tears and laughed together.

“Mom. Then can I pray together too? I’ll pray really hard.”

“…… N, no! Only mom and dad can pray for siblings. If someone is nearby in the middle, heaven gets angry and big trouble happens. So Lucy needs to sleep soundly so mom can comfortably offer sincere prayers to heaven.”

“Gasp. Then I’ll lie down and sleep quickly. But what if Dad gets angry because of Lucy and won’t pray with Mom?”

Though she thought that wouldn’t happen, Ariel racked her brain hard. Mom would try to persuade him. Wouldn’t that work?

“No. Dad really likes praying with Mom, so it’s fine.”

At the voice heard from behind, Ariel almost screamed.

“Damian……?”

Ariel found it difficult to understand why her husband’s face looking at the mother and daughter contained a bitter smile.