#12. As If Some Painful Memory Had Surfaced

‘Oh, I’m in trouble.’

I’m so angry I feel like my head might explode.

Rage welled up in my chest, making it hard to breathe. All kinds of curses rose to the tip of my tongue.

But,

‘It’s the past.’

A past life. My reason whispered to me.

All of this is merely a fragment of the past. It no longer has anything to do with me.

‘You know it’s meaningless to waste your heart and emotions on futile things.’

I tried to calm the turbulence in my mind by recalling my experience of falling into and then breaking free from unpleasant hallucinations. And I spoke coldly.

“How could anything remain the same?”

“……”

“People’s hearts can change too- ugh!”

Before I could finish speaking, large fingers gripped my chin. Strong force forcibly lifted my head to meet his gaze.

The ice-like transparent and cold eyes characteristic of Dragonia stared directly at me.

“Why?”

“……Why, you ask.”

“Why did you change?”

Kalenso looked displeased, like a child who lost a toy he hadn’t even been playing with.

“What’s the reason?”

“……”

That face, that voice filled with genuine confusion, shattered the limits of my patience.

The memories I had been suppressing, the wounds I had received, all came undone chaotically.

I didn’t even need to go as far as my moments before death.

In my childhood, wanting to befriend Kalenso, I searched diligently for an item he needed.

‘Naively expecting that he would be happy if I brought it to him.’

But Kalenso’s attendants wouldn’t allow me, a half-baked lady, to enter his quarters.

Passing servants snickered at the ridiculous sight of me being ignored even by his subordinates, not just Kalenso himself. Still, I waited endlessly with my reddened face buried downward.

And when Kalenso finally came,

‘Brother Kalenso! He-Here’s what you were looking for before……’

‘Move aside. Don’t block the door.’

I was rejected before I could properly finish my sentence.

Bang!

Seeing the door close in my face, I froze like ice.

My legs, which had been standing for so long, cramped, and I lost feeling in the hand holding the item.

It felt like my heart was being crushed, making it hard to breathe, and my mind stopped working.

Behind me, people’s snickers provided a background soundtrack.

‘As expected of a half-breed.’

‘Right, a true Dragonia would never pay attention to such a lowly lady.’

I know.

I know that Kalenso acted without much thought at that time. I also know he truly had urgent matters that day.

To somehow believe that Kalenso didn’t really hate me, the past me desperately tried to learn about such circumstances.

But as such incidents piled up one by one, I became someone who was ignored and ridiculed by everyone in Dragonia.

‘And now, what?’

Why don’t I like him anymore?

I gritted my teeth painfully. I felt like I might scream like a madwoman at any moment. My eyes grew hot and red.

“……Let go.”

Why is unrequited love for family so miserable?

I thought I had abandoned these feelings long ago, believed I had ended them after going through an entire lifetime……

“I asked why you changed.”

“I said, let go of my hand.”

Yet my heart still ached.

I felt a phantom pain, as if my heart was being squeezed, painful and agonizing.

Kalenso continued to press me as if he couldn’t hear my words.

“Answer me.”

A puzzled voice. An indifferent face without malice.

From the beginning, Kalenso probably didn’t even think he was using force against me. For someone like him, a Dragonia, this level of strength was nothing.

‘But not for me.’

Even though by Kalenso’s standards he wasn’t applying much force, I couldn’t possibly break free.

Humiliation and shame made my eyes burn. I couldn’t bear the hatred I felt for my own weakness.

“I told you to let go—!”

With that shout, a tear fell.

My vision was blurring with tangled anger and shame.

“……You’re crying?”

The hand suddenly dropped.

Hearing the surprised voice, I wiped my tears and looked up.

‘What’s this?’

The face that had remained indifferent despite my anger and shouting was now somehow shaken.

‘Why is he like that?’

As I stared blankly in surprise, Kalenso, whose eyes met mine, suddenly began to contort his face.

“Hng, kugh……”

Not only that, he grabbed his head and groaned in pain. As if some painful memory had surfaced.

It was then that the door burst open with a thud.

“Lord Kalenso!”

Someone presumed to be Kalenso’s subordinate hurriedly entered and approached him. Naturally, without asking permission from me, the room’s owner.

However, the subordinate who was approaching stopped when he saw Kalenso groaning.

“L-Lord Kalenso?”

“……It’s fine, just tell me.”

“But-“

“I said tell me!”

Kalenso growled with a distorted face and grabbed the man by the collar.

Kalenso’s subordinate opened his mouth with a flustered expression.

“His, His Grace the Grand Duke……”

The Grand Duke of Dragonia. My father.

At the mention of him, both Kalenso and I widened our eyes in surprise.

Perhaps conscious of me, the subordinate quickly whispered something into Kalenso’s ear.

“……Suddenly?”

Why? Kalenso muttered as if he couldn’t understand, then abruptly looked at me.

‘Why?’

Did my father leave some message for me?

That couldn’t be.

Father was extremely indifferent to me. After adopting me, he simply left me neglected until I awakened my abilities.

Surely that would be the case, but……

“You, stay locked up here. Don’t go anywhere.”

“What?”

Kalenso left only those words and turned away. I stood up, unable to understand the situation.

“What does that suddenly……”

“Make sure the youngest doesn’t leave.”

“Yes.”

“Kalenso!”

Kalenso paused at my voice, which no longer called him brother, but he didn’t look back.

And so I was confined.

* * *

“House arrest, really.”

I muttered in disbelief.

“Why me?”

What did I do wrong?!

Though I hated it terribly, Kalenso was a ‘real’ Dragonia who had proven his power, and I was currently in no position to refuse his orders.

‘……This nightmare is really persistent.’

They say time in dreams has no limits, but the period of not waking up seems to be getting too long.

‘In the real world, they say a nightmare you can’t wake from is reality.’

Then perhaps I really have returned?

But why?

Suddenly, a story I once read came to mind.

But in that story, I wasn’t anyone special. So why did I, of all people, come back?

‘Don’t tell me I’m supposed to repent and reform?’

I died miserably, and Dragonia was eventually exterminated. Such outcomes are typically reserved for villains.

Yes. Just as I was a villainous supporting character, Dragonia appeared as an evil family in the story, and the three brothers of Dragonia were not chosen by the female protagonist, Fiona.

‘That must be the case. Since Fiona Phoenix was in love with the prince.’

So all three brothers of Dragonia were essentially supporting male leads.

And not just any supporting male leads—villainous ones.

Of course, their personalities were abundant enough to make them villains, but that wasn’t the only reason.

‘The protagonist Fiona is the daughter of Phoenix.’

The story begins in the Hakan Empire, the hegemon ruling the Old Continent.

The Hakan Empire was a country founded by the alliance of five ruling families, with the imperial family of Griffones at the center surrounded by the other four powers.

Dragonia in the Northwest.

Phoenix in the Southwest.

Kraken in the Southeast.

Fenrir in the Northeast.

Among them, Dragonia in the Northwest and Phoenix in the Southwest were mortal enemies. Neighboring countries are often like this, but their enmity was extreme.

They had been at war for decades.

So in a world where Fiona from the Phoenix family was the protagonist, Dragonia was a den of villains that deserved to be exterminated.

‘Of course, from Dragonia’s perspective, Phoenix was the villain.’

They struck first!

Grumbling complaints inwardly, I turned my attention to the meal set before me.

Perhaps aware that they had broken my table and ruined my tea time, the servants under Kalenso’s command had restored everything.

Naturally, the furniture was better than before, and the tea food was as abundant as a full meal.

Just as I was about to reach for the tea food again……

Bang!

The door opened roughly again. Among the group that rushed in, one shouted at me.

“How dare you eat that!”

Then they hastily took it away.

“……”

I watched in disbelief as the servant took away my tea food, plate and all.

Are you seriously starving me? You can’t stand to see someone eat.

“Why are you looking like that?”

“It’s the lady’s orders, what can we do?”

It seems they can’t even bear to see me living like this anymore. I asked in bewilderment.

“Lady?”

“……Lady Penelope, of course!”

Penelope?

‘When did she regain her power?’

But there was no time to be surprised.

The servants were immediately stripping away all the heating items in the bedroom.

“Please understand, it’s for the sake of the entire Blue Brick Castle.”

“Surely the daughter of Dragonia isn’t so weak that she can’t endure this level of cold?”

They seemed ready to mock me, asking if I was truly a descendant of Dragonia if I said no.

In the past, I always shrank before such words. I couldn’t properly stand up to their ridicule and was always robbed of my belongings while being laughed at.

But now.

‘Do you think I’ll put up with this again?’