#21. I Can’t Lose You Again 

So that I don’t become miserable and pathetic begging for your love, this time, please.

“Leave me first. Don’t hold me anymore. Let me be……”

Perhaps this too was a hallucination. That thought made me blurt out my true feelings.

“Just let me die.”

So I won’t open my eyes again.

I closed my eyes to embrace death.

‘I’ll go back.’

To a place without family to hurt me, without this bone-chilling cold.

To my solitary but unhurt life. To the life I built entirely with my own strength.

Just as I was about to close my eyes—

“No, you can’t.”

A thick arm pulled me forcefully from the water’s surface and embraced me strongly.

“I cannot allow it.”

The low voice resonated with the same heartlessness as always.

But for some reason, the body holding me tightly was inexplicably gasping.

“Partanie.”

The Grand Duke of Dragonia. My father who had always been stern and heartless…..

“You cannot die.”

That father of mine was looking at me with an unbelievably agitated face.

The broad chest holding me, the arms constricting my body making it hard to breathe, the sturdy chin touching my shoulder—all were trembling.

As if he couldn’t bear it.

As if it was too painful and difficult, as if he was afraid……

‘Why?’

Why react like that now? I who loved you already died on that snowy mountain.

“You must not die like this!”

A scream that sounded like blood was pouring out reached my muffled ears.

Yes, perhaps you might feel regret too.

But what meaning is there in regret that comes only when facing death?

“Your life is not yours alone, Partanie!”

A voice that seemed desperate.

A face distorted with emotion, whether anger or fear.

Seeing him, something hot welled up from within my heart, which I believed no longer expected anything from my father, which I was convinced held no feelings for him anymore.

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

It was anger.

It was hatred.

It was resentment toward that arrogant and cruel father who wouldn’t even allow death, who claimed that even my life wasn’t my own.

Even if I was a lowly half-wit pointed at by everyone, a foolish idiot who received no one’s love or acknowledgment….

‘My life is mine.’

And I need no one’s permission to deal with it.

I closed my eyes. Black water rushed toward me from beneath my consciousness.

That wasn’t regret.

It was just arrogance.

And even if it was regret, what meaning could there possibly be in regret that comes only when facing death?

“No, Partanie—!”

An urgent voice was heard above my face, but darkness like sleep washed over me again, cutting everything off.

* * *

“……This is strange.”

Dark blue hair.

Ice-blue eyes.

Kalenso, with his handsome face and not-so-handsome temperament, tilted his head.

His subordinate, exhaling white breath in the bitter cold, asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Father…”

With those words, Kalenso pointed his sword at the demonic beast’s corpse. More precisely, at the trajectory of the attack that had turned the demonic beast into a corpse.

“It’s not like him.”

“Pardon?”

“Father’s swordsmanship is clean and merciful. He always aims only for vital points without unnecessary attacks and takes lives with minimal strikes.”

Kalenso explained at unusual length.

The three brothers of Dragonia each had something they valued.

For instance, the “Mad” Dog Taran showed a fanatical interest and obsession with poison, to the extent that his hobby was consuming poisons and creating antidotes.

‘He really is crazy……’

Kalenso’s subordinate inwardly clicked his tongue.

In truth, Kalenso’s faction didn’t view Taran very favorably.

Among the three Dragonia brothers, he had the most lowly mother, plus he had foolish and vulgar maternal relatives like Penelope Barshava.

‘And Siyeref would set an example as an excellent successor.’

He always showed a perfect and complete image as the heir of Dragonia, no matter when or where.

Finally, what the third son Kalenso valued and obsessed over most was “power.”

True to his Dragonia heritage, Kalenso had revered physical strength from a very young age. Because of this, without anyone telling him to, he trained every day to become stronger.

Naturally, the person Kalenso followed most was the Grand Duke of Dragonia.

The current Grand Duke Garet Dragonia was the finest knight in the Northwest, and Kalenso knew no one stronger than him.

That’s why when Kalenso heard that the Grand Duke of Dragonia had summoned him, he immediately armed himself and departed without asking what the matter was.

‘Kalenso. You clean up what’s left.’

‘……Pardon? Me?’

Of course, even Kalenso couldn’t help but be surprised by the Grand Duke’s sudden order.

Demonic beasts frequently appeared in the Old Continent where the Hakan Empire was established.

Especially in areas difficult for humans to inhabit, such as rugged mountains, seas, and vast forests, the probability of encountering demonic beasts was higher.

At least docile demonic beasts wouldn’t chase after you if you left food and ran away. Some species would ignore you and pass by if you didn’t provoke them first.

However, among dangerous demonic beasts, there were quite a few that formed packs to harm and consume humans.

‘And Dragonia of the Northwest is located below the Catastrophe (катастрофа) Mountains.’

Perhaps because of the legend that an ice dragon slept there, particularly dangerous demonic beasts tended to appear from the Catastrophe Mountains.

Therefore, the Grand Duke of Dragonia personally led subjugation teams to exterminate demonic beasts that ambushed the territory’s residents.

‘That was certainly the case.’

Yet for some reason, the Grand Duke of Dragonia had said he would return to the Blue Brick Castle even though the subjugation team’s mission wasn’t finished.

Saying he would leave the rest to his son, Kalenso.

It was a bewildering situation for both Kalenso himself and his subordinates.

‘Why did His Highness the Grand Duke suddenly…?’

It was an incomprehensible, uncharacteristic action from the Grand Duke, but Kalenso didn’t refuse the order.

As someone who worshipped strength, he believed that orders from the overwhelmingly powerful Grand Duke should be followed even if they couldn’t be understood.

Kalenso’s subordinates welcomed it for different reasons.

The Grand Duke of Dragonia had entrusted a task he personally undertook every year—a task that would normally be given to the heir Siyeref—to the third son Kalenso, not even the second son Taran!

‘It means he trusts Kalenso that much!’

If this fact became known, it could change the power dynamics among the current Dragonia vassals.

Although the eldest son Siyeref was currently considered the heir, it was still uncertain who would actually wear the Grand Duke’s crown.

‘After all, the current Grand Duke wouldn’t have become the successor if not for Partilova, right?’

A distant branch of the bloodline, and among them, someone of such humble origins he couldn’t even be listed in the family registry.

His entry into Dragonia’s Blue Brick Castle was entirely thanks to the great guardian of Dragonia, Partilova.

The previous Grand Duke, who was coincidentally inspecting the territory, discovered the young but brilliant Garet and added him to the Dragonia family registry.

Then she made him her subordinate and personally cared for and raised him.

‘Later, he earned the previous Grand Duke’s trust, won over the vassals, and became the Grand Duke of Dragonia.’

Of course, this was only possible after Garet Dragonia proved himself a descendant of Dragonia before the “Eternal Fire”……

What reason would there be for a son not to do what his father had done?

Moreover, Kalenso’s conditions were better than the Grand Duke’s. First of all, he was a direct descendant, and he possessed the “power” and “strength” that Dragonia prized above all else.

“But it’s strange.”

Regardless of what his subordinates were thinking, Kalenso only stared at the sword trajectory on the great demonic beast’s corpse, tilting his head.

‘Unlike Father, the trajectory is very rough and impulsive.’

It gave the impression of someone extremely excited and angry, yet subtly frightened.

‘Why?’

Although it was a powerful demonic beast, it wasn’t strong enough to frighten the Grand Duke.

The fact that he killed it with messy attacks instead of a single strike was closer to venting anger.

‘Why did Father react so emotionally, what did he see……?’

* * *

The Grand Duke of Dragonia, Garet, stared at the unconscious Partanie with a chilling expression, then pulled out a dagger from his br*ast.

“!”

Taran was surprised.

Like his other brothers, he had many opportunities to fight alongside the Grand Duke of Dragonia, but even he had never seen this weapon before.

The blade of the dagger, removed from its old leather sheath, was rusty and blunt as if very ancient.

“Father!”

But no matter what, it was still a blade. It shouldn’t be brandished in front of a patient!

A moment flashed through Taran’s mind. The image of his father briefly stroking the head of a wounded wyvern during battle, then immediately drawing his sword and striking its neck.

‘I’ll send you off without pain.’

The sight of him decisively bringing down his greatsword to kill the wyvern overlapped with the current situation, and Taran shouted without realizing.

“She might just be sleeping. Don’t give up on Partanie like this……”

About to cry out not to abandon his youngest sister, Taran flinched.

His statement was far too “unlike himself.”

Abandon the incompetent.

Remove the unnecessary.

The weak are eliminated.

Only the strong are right, and only those who prove their worth can survive.

This was the openly established value system within the House of the Grand Duke of Dragonia, which ruled the harsh Northwest.

This was no exception for the three Dragonia brothers.

Elder brother Siyeref, himself, and even Kalenso could only receive recognition from their father and Dragonia after proving their worth.

That was why Taran had cut ties with Penelope.

It was the same reason Partanie had been called a half-wit and despised until now.

Yet here he was, showing such a contradictory attitude before Partanie.

And it felt not strange but natural……

‘Why?’

As Taran was bewildered by his own dissonance, the Grand Duke, not hearing his son’s cry, muttered to himself.

“I can’t lose you again.”

What did he say?