Chapter 6. Does It Hurt, Jane?

Jane already knew that Cain had a child.

Six months ago, she overheard women talking in a cafe.

〈Duke Hastings has a son, doesn’t he?〉

〈That’s right. And he’s already six years old.〉

〈Then is he getting married soon?〉

〈No. The mother died. Was she the daughter of some tremendous magnate from a foreign country, or royalty……〉

Rumors about the young lord of Hastings spread wildly.

The young lord of Hastings who suddenly appeared was sometimes a child of the royal family, sometimes a child from a brothel, and once became the son of a woman who had saved Cain’s life.

After breaking up with Cain, that was the first time Jane deliberately avoided hearing news about him.

So she didn’t know much detail about that child.

“Joseph Hastings. He’s six years old. You’re working as a private tutor, aren’t you? I heard you teach quite well.”

“Ah…… you need a private tutor.”

Jane understood the background behind Cain’s proposal.

At six years old, it was indeed time to start looking for a private tutor. Sometimes nannies took on that role, but wealthy noble families employed both nannies and private tutors from early on.

Not to mention the Hastings family.

“The child needs stability. He’s not an easy child.”

“What kind of child is he?”

She should refuse immediately, but questions kept popping out.

She wanted to have even a little more conversation with him.

Being able to have ordinary conversation without resenting or clawing at each other was like a dream to Jane.

Of course, the topic of conversation was a blade that slashed at her.

“He was expelled from the academy.”

“You sent a six-year-old child to the academy?”

Cain frowned.

He looked at Jane for a moment. Glared would be the accurate expression.

Jane wanted to avoid his gaze, but then and now, his gaze had the power to bind people.

Cain’s eyes wandered over Jane’s disheveled hair, thick eyebrows, eyelashes with tears hanging on them, her high nose bridge, and such.

Then they stopped at her lips. Was it Jane’s imagination that his gaze seemed to linger quite long on her lips smeared with rouge?

“A child of the Hastings family can’t be an ordinary child. Even if he’s only six years old.”

“I know that, but…… children usually go to the academy at eight.”

“I don’t think early education is bad. That’s how people like you can make a living, isn’t it?”

Jane’s brow furrowed slightly.

“He’s not an easy child. Tame him properly. If you raise him to be a child worthy of Hastings, I’ll give you corresponding compensation.”

“Compensation……”

Jane trailed off.

“You have debts.”

Cain looked around the house. Light contempt was thinly layered in his eyes. Jane wanted to hide in a mouse hole.

“I’ll pay them off.”

“No. This is my debt. Your Grace doesn’t need to pay it off.”

“I can’t bring a debtor into Hastings.”

Cain shook his head with a ridiculous laugh.

“I could refuse, you know.”

“Ah.”

His tone as he let out an exclamation as if he had gained tremendous enlightenment was extremely exaggerated.

In that short exclamation was blatant mockery asking if she knew her place.

“The position of mistress of Hastings is too much for me.”

“Were you trying to act as mistress? You’ve become greedy while I wasn’t looking. I suppose when people become desperate, they forget their place? How dare you mention the position of Hastings’ mistress?”

Anger crept into Cain’s voice. His expression slightly contorted.

“Know your place properly, Jane. What I proposed is being Joseph’s mother.”

Cain said curtly.

“I……”

“I’ll come again in the afternoon. You’d better think carefully and answer.”

Cain turned around. He stared at the door with fallen hinges and slowly closed his eyes.

He could just leave like this, but his feet wouldn’t lift as if glue was stuck to his shoe soles.

He sighed and suddenly changed direction, approaching Jane. He grabbed her hand with an irritated touch.

“Are you putting on a show for me to see?”

It was the hand with glass embedded and blood flowing.

“This…… leave it alone. I’ll take care of it myself.”

“Do you want sympathy?”

“Cain…… that’s not it……”

Jane was at a loss. Her blood was staining Cain’s hands and his pure white shirt sleeves.

Jane tried to twist her wrist to pull her hand out, but far from letting go, Cain pulled her arm instead.

And he mercilessly pulled out the glass fragment embedded in Jane’s palm.

“Ah.”

The wound that had been blocked by the glass fragment opened up and the blood drops became thicker.

Cain took out a handkerchief, covered her wound with it, and pressed down hard.

Jane couldn’t tell whether he was trying to stop the bleeding or crush her hand.

It just hurt. The wound, her heart.

“Does it hurt, Jane?”

It was a seemingly gentle voice. Jane raised her head. But there wasn’t a trace of warmth in the gaze looking at her.

“I asked if the wound hurts.”

“No, it doesn’t hurt.”

“That’s right. Visible wounds aren’t even wounds. They can be treated, Jane. Real wounds are the ones that appear where you can’t see them.”

Cain dropped Jane’s hand as if throwing it away. His handkerchief fell to the floor. Jane’s gaze followed.

The blood that had stopped began to flow again.

“I’ll come again in the afternoon.”

Jane couldn’t watch Cain leave. The place his hand had touched tingled. It wasn’t pain, but a sensation — the sensation of a ghost coming back to life.

Jane still loved him.

＊＊＊

Jane wrapped her hand with a bandage and moved busily.

She didn’t know what state of mind she had spent last night in. She had been half out of her mind.

‘Cain came at dawn, but I thought it was night.’

There had been quite a long time between when the creditors left and when Cain came.

‘I should have cleaned up the house during that time.’

How shocked must Cain have been when he saw it.

He was someone who always kept his surroundings neatly organized.

Jane picked up the fallen objects and gathered the broken things together.

She wiped the bloodstains remaining on the floor with a slightly damp dry cloth.

Thanks to her busy efforts, by the time the sun was high in the sky, the inside of the house was roughly organized.

The window covered with newspaper instead of the broken glass window was quite awkward, and the door that was half-closed due to the torn hinges was bothersome, there would be no problem to live for a few days.

Even though her body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, Jane wandered around looking for work. Because whenever there was a brief gap, Cain’s proposal would circle in her head.

Jane wanted to accept his proposal.

But.

“Really shameless. What qualification do I have…… so brazenly……”

Jane was a sinner to Cain. Not only had she abandoned him, but she had prevented him from being present at his parents’ deathbeds.

While he had gone abroad after breaking up with Jane, Duke and Duchess Hastings suddenly died.

The Hastings family didn’t officially reveal the cause of death.

Because of that, various speculations ran rampant. The most likely theory was that they had suffered many hardships because of business dealings with the Whitney family and lost their health as a result.

There were also rumors that someone had harmed them, but Jane forgot those words as soon as she heard them.

The previous Duke and Duchess of Hastings weren’t people who would earn anyone’s resentment.

Anyway, Jane wasn’t free from the deaths of the previous Duke and Duchess Hastings.

Strictly speaking, it wasn’t Jane’s fault, but since she was the one who had caused Cain to leave Emblem Kingdom, she couldn’t definitively say she was completely unrelated.

It was true that the Hastings family had suffered damage because of their connection to the Whitney family.

When Jane left the capital, that was why servants from the Hastings family came in droves and said harsh words.

〈Never come near the Hastings family again! Do you know how hard our master and mistress are having it because of Whitney? Get lost quickly!〉

〈No need to use honorifics. It’s just a hollow title anyway. A title given to a woman who can’t even inherit it. To think I bowed and scraped to such a woman, it’s shameful.〉

〈Don’t even think of appearing before Young Lord Hastings! Ptui.〉

Do those people know?

The proposal Cain made when he came to see her at dawn.

She had never even thought of going to find Cain.

Jane deliberately clicked her tongue loudly and picked up a broom. The hand she unconsciously extended was her left hand, so fiery pain arose.

God really wasn’t on Jane’s side.

“Of all things, why did it have to be my left hand that got hurt.”

Jane’s eyes became moist.

Jane was left-handed. Thanks to thorough education, she could do most things with her right hand too, but everything was easier and better done with her left hand.

Why was hurting that left hand so heartbreaking? She hadn’t cried even after hearing harsh words from Cain, but tears suddenly welled up.

However, Jane wasn’t even allowed the luxury of shedding tears.

The door she had barely managed to stand up fell down with a thud.

She was so startled that her tears went right back in.

“Looks good. You’ve cleaned up very neatly. Our Jane is really diligent, isn’t she?”

Victor and Hamulin had come.

Victor, who had been picking at something with a thin tree branch after eating who knows what, whistled a low whistle.

“Now let’s show that diligence in bed. In an old man’s bed.”

At the blatant vulgar gesture, Jane sharply turned her head.

“I thought I already rejected your proposal.”

“I know-ow.”

Hamulin stuck out his lips and mimicked Jane. Then he scrunched up his face viciously and warned.

“Don’t think about cutting your wrist again halfheartedly. Unless you want to be tied up. We’ll gag your mouth too. Or is that your preference? Were we too gentlemanly?”

Jane’s plan to bite her tongue in the worst case was thwarted.

Victor grinned.

“I was thinking wrong. Making a proposal to a bitch who takes other people’s money lightly. It was too good for you. So I decided to change methods.”

Before she could understand what he meant, Victor grabbed Jane’s wrist and pulled.

“Let go of me!”

“Let’s go. We’ll package you nicely and send you to the old man.”

“I said let go!”

They were determined to sell Jane. She struggled not to be dragged away. The floor she had cleaned became dirty again.

“Keep throwing a tantrum. The old man will understand that you got beaten up a few times, right?”

Jane was dragged like a dog. They didn’t care at all that she fell and was scraped on the ground.

Victor, who had dragged Jane out of the house, dropped her as if throwing her away. She fell, almost burying her head in the dirt.

“You know it’s useless to resist, right? Let’s walk nicely.”

Victor’s voice was clearly audible. It would be better if she could lose consciousness. Why does one’s mind become clearer at times like this?

Jane vigorously swatted away Victor’s hand that was reaching out again.

“Don’t touch me. My legs are fine.”

It seemed she should pretend to follow obediently while looking for a chance to escape. She decided to think about what came after later.

Jane concentrated very hard on gauging the timing to escape. Because of that, she didn’t notice someone approaching.

“Wasn’t I the prior appointment?”

“Cain?”

Cain, the person she least wanted to meet at this moment, appeared. Jane gritted her teeth in shame.